[Life.is.a.Journey]

Hi all, I'm new here, and need help. My adoption search began in 1986, with a trip to the agency to get non-identifying info. I went along shortly after that when my adoptive brother (born 1967) wanted to know his story. He told me later that he had been soooo tempted to "grab that file and RUN."

Five years later, 1991, I contacted the agency again, and to my surprise they had begun doing searches. They agreed to search for me, sent 2 registered letters to bmother's last known address, but there was no reply at all. My abrother decided at that time not to search for his birthfamily. He had been diagnosed with AIDS, was in a fight for his life, and he felt that if he got the kind of rejection I got, he wouldn't be able to take it.

Four years ago (2005), I emailed the agency and they tried again to contact bmother. No reply was received from her, again.

My abrother passed away several months ago, after a very, very long fight. THREE WEEKS LATER, his birthfamily started looking for him and found his partner, and through him, me. This was devastating for all involved, especially his bmom. (Her sister actually instituted the search, as a surprise, never thinking to find this end.) I have met with them both, and my abrother's partner and I were able to show them photos of his life, and his beautiful artwork. They are wonderful people; he would have adored them. His bmom never told her daughters about their half-brother, is scared to do so now, and I completely respect her need to handle that as she needs to. I have seen pictures of them, however, and one of them is the spitting image of my abrother. I hope to get to meet them someday.

From that non-identifying info from two decades ago, I know that my bmom had a son before me, from a previous marraige. Two months ago, it hit me like a ton of bricks that I'd been thinking of him as "out there somewhere" for some time... and that perhaps I would wait too long and be sorry for doing so. So I instituted a new search, through an investigator.

This is what I've been told so far: My bmom's name on my original birth certificate and the name on the adoption certificate are completely different. I've not been told either name. (The investigator says she wants to hold that info until she knows which name is correct.) I've personally been to Tarrant county and Dallas county, and both, after looking up my afather's name, say the adoption did not take place there. My afather believes it took place in Dallas, because the agency lawyer could only practice there. He says it definitely was not Bexar county (San Antonio).

My investigator is getting nowhere, and doesn't want to pursue either bmom name until she knows which one is correct. I've sent a request to the state for the identity of the court of adoption. If anyone has access to this info *faster* than I will get it back from the state, please contact me through a private message!!

Thank you all so much for your stories. I don't feel so alone when I'm reading what everyone else is going through.

[bprice215]

Talk about hell in my case the bmom only told me that my adopted daughter had made contact with her and that she had a 4.2 grade point average in school. she refused to tell me anything more until my daughter brought me up to her. No wonder why for she out riight lied to my daughter. I was able to tell her the truth as it happened. I'm sure it sounded like nothing she was prepaired for but it was the truth. Now we are in constant contact with each other. Not really discussing anything of importance but it is so much better than before I had no contact at all. Take care and good luck for you deserve it.

bprice215