[annmarie87]

hey everyone,
im going to be 21 in 20 days and am super excited because it means i can start looking for my bmom. im confused as to where to start though. ive been given lots of information and need some advice.

heres my story:
i was adopted as an infant in salt lake city. when my amom first went to see me she said the name above my incubator read "m gibson". she said it wasnt supposed to be there and the next time she went it had been taken down. she belived my bmoms first name was mary and her maiden name would have been gibson. mary made sence because i was adopted through the catholic community services and the only stipulation my amom had was that she wanted me to be raised my a catholic family.

when i turned 12 my mom and i were passing through salt lake and stopped to see my case worker. she had told me i had 2 younger half or full brothers and that my bmother and bfather had gotten back together. i dont know wether they are still together or not and i dont know wether the boys were his or not. she had said my bmom was last in either virginia or west virginia. i was also told she really wanted to meet me and had written a letter. my amom felt i was still to young to meet her and that when i turned 18 i would be old enough to make that decision.

so i waited and then the day finally came. the first thing i did was call the ccs. my old case worker was no longer there. and the new workers had no idea who she was and how to get a hold of her. i was sent non identifying information which told me she she was french and itallian and 18 years old when she had me. she was also the same height and weight as me before she had me. it told about her father and brothers and that our interests were also the same. it said she didnt know my father. i was told though by the new case worker that because of utah being a closed case state i had to wait til i was 21 and then submit my info to vital statistics. it was a great feeling to read we had similarities but i felt jipped. i really wanted to meet her and maybe get to know her.

when i talked to my amom about it. she told me that when i was 3 my bmom faught to get me back and even tried to go to court over it. she also reminded me of the letter.

in the end i made 3 calls to ccs. the last time i called and told the case worker i knew about the letter from my bmom and i wanted it. she told me there was no letter in my file but she said my bmother had requested pictures of me when i was 3. which my amom sent.

and so now i dont know where to begin. i thought i read that vital statistics laws went into plsce after i was adopted. im afraid my bmom may not have registered because she may not know. i also worry that because she and my case worker were close she may have felt she didnt need to. my old case worker mentioned she was getting married the last time we spoke to her (when i was 12). so i dont know how to find her either. 9 years is also a long time. she may not want to be found anymore...

if any of you have any suggestions or storys or anything i would love to hear all of them. i feel im so close and so far away at the same time.

<3

[LisaMarie88]

Sounds similiar to me. I am turning 21 in February and I am anxiously awaiting that day like Christmas to a 5yr old. I am afraid and nervous and it is wierd because I know nothing is going to happen on that day....so it doesn't need to be so awaited? I dunno. I know from my non-id info I have a full brother who is 22months older than me, I don't know if he was adopted too or not. My birthparents were married too.

But I am glad to finally meet someone who has had to wait and is finally getting a chance to search as well.

You know alot more about your bmom than I do and your amom sounds really supportive which is great! Keep me updated on your search and I hope everything goes well in the begining. I have a feeling that if your bmom wanted to meet you 9years ago that feeling is still there. I wish you all the best!!!

Happy early birthday!

[annmarie87]

lol. you need to keep me posted too!!! i wish i had joined this site sooner. i feel less alone here. and thank you! ha happy bithday to you as well.
my amom is supportive she was also adopted but her afamily wasnt supportive at all. she has had succesful reunions with both her bmom and bdad. but my amom wouldnt ever let me have any of my adoption papers. she keeps them in a locked box. she wont help me look either. its slightly discouraging but i think its because her afamily was so unsupportive.
tell me your story. i feel i have so much to learn about myself and reading peoples stories has definately helped alot.
<3

[LisaMarie88]

Hey!

Wow, I would assume you amom would be supportive since her family wasn't supportive. But maybe she wants to make sure you are mentally prepared? ??

Well, my story is pretty basic. My aparents are NOT supportive at all. It is never talked about. I found my non-id info when I was 14, I didn't know I was adopted. I think my mom told me, but the conversation went something like "you aren't mine" and than she walked away. So as a 7yr old I had not a clue what she was talking about. So when I found my non-id info I just kept it to myself which ended up being the worst thing. Keeping all that and other things going on in my life to myself really messed me up down the line. But I am working through all that. Um, my biggest fear is obviously rejection. My aparents are disappointed in me alot of the time, according to them I am not going on the track. But whatever. My e-mail is rustcoveredheart@yahoo.com if you want to ever talk there!!