[lacymarie]

My bsister's abrother gave me her cell phone number which turned out to be a mistake for both he and I. I refuse to contact the aparents to argue with them about something I will never get them to see eye to eye on. I desperately would like to reach out to the abrother because I can only imagine the grief he had to undergo from what my bsister and their amom must have bestowed on him. I have written a letter, but I am afraid to mail it. Anyone out there have any advice on this situation. In my letter I have offered an apology for what he may have went through in trying to help me. Any words of advice?

[Dickons]

Lacymarie,

I am confused on what the question is, could you be clearer?

Kind regards,
Dickons

[lacymarie]

Should I contact my bsister's abrother to apologize for what he may have had to deal with due to giving out my bsister's cell phone number. Poor guy. He was just trying to help. Or would I be causing more trouble

[BrockBaby]

Well, it's obvious you have talked to him previously...how did you contact him that time? Does he live at home, or is he older? How old is your bsister? It seems as though he was kind, and nice, so if you have a direct contact line for him....I would call and apologize. He may even be able to give you some insight....

[lacymarie]

He is about 29 years old and lives outside of the home. I found him on a search engine as being a possible relative to my sister and when I found his number on 411.com and called him he was very calm and non chalant about the entire situation. He and his wife stated they didnt understand why the amom was so mean to me the first time that I spoke with her and simply gave me my bsister's cell phone number. But when I called her noone answered. My bsister called me back at about 1AM and burst out in tears and distress to learn who I was. She stated I had no right to contact her and demanded to know who gave me the phone number. Since then I received 3 horrible VM from the aparents and my oldest sister whom I reunited with over a year ago received phone calls from both the aparents and my bsister stating that we ruined their family. The entire situation is heart breaking because not only will we never meet our bsister but we feel extremely bad about what may have happened to the abrother that gave me the number. I have not contacted my bsister or her aparents since, but I truly feel the urge to contact the abrother to apologize for putting him in the middle. Im afraid that he may reject me as well, but I really would like to contact him and let him know my place and my purpose. My oldest sister and I have had a really hard time with understanding what has happend. I cannot imagine the reaction that we were given to be logical, yet we are trying our best to deal with the situation. Should I avoid contacting him. Just asking for some advice before I make yet another mistake.

[Dickons]

I would call him...to thank him for being open and honest...to apologize for any issues you may have created for him unknowlingly...to keep the door open for the future.

Reunion has no set course...can be great off the bat or not...sometimes the shock can cause a bad reaction but it can end up good...you never know.

I would contact the abrother and if over time the reunion is still a no go, a call at Christmas to say hi, we are still open if your sister ever brings it up.

Kind regards,
Dickons

[JustPeachy]

If you would rather, and if you happen to have his other contact info, you could also write a letter or email to him. This way, you can explain everything and get your words down exactly as you want, and he can read/re-read, without maybe feeling quite as "put on the spot" as a phone conversation can be. Just another option, but I do think you should attempt to contact him one way or the other.

[lacymarie]

I am almost in tears at the thought. I appreciate you guys so much. WOW what would I do without this site?! I dunno. But I swear I appreciate this from the bottom of my heart. I am still torn between writing him a letter and calling him. But I know one thing for sure, I will make contact! Thanx so much

[stinky_kitty]

If it were me, I would write a letter. I say this for a few reasons, a) it allows you to fully think out what you want to say and you can revise it if need be and b) it allows him to fully take in what you say and act on it if and when he feels comfortable doing so.

I always feel that although the benefits of calling someone is an immediate response (usually) there is also the chance that you catch them off guard and they can be defensive.

Just my .2!! I hope this all works out for you!!

[BrockBaby]

I am a phone caller. I am too impatient for letters. LOL But you have to do what you are comfortable with.

I agree with the masses, that communication with him is something that you should do. He may have been told a thing or two for his part in telling you her number...but he's an adult and on his own, so he doesn't have to tell anyone that he's heard from you again.

Good Luck.
Sorry your bsister doesn't want to get to know you.

[lacymarie]

Yea, I decided to write a letter. That gives him the control over the situation that he deserves, and gives me the opportunity to speak how I feel without interruptions. I will let you guys know what happened

[stinky_kitty]

Good luck!!!

[stinky_kitty]

Originally Posted by BrockBaby

I am a phone caller. I am too impatient for letters. LOL

I usually am too!

[lacymarie]

Originally Posted by BrockBaby

I am a phone caller. I am too impatient for letters.

This describes me to the Tee. So, this is not something that is easy to do. I think making the phone call gets things over and done with, but obviously, I would like to be heard this time and not yelled at or hung up on. So, Ill stick with the majority and write my feelings snail mail.