[naurusky]

Hi there,

I've been an adoptee since I was a baby but have experienced two adoptions in my lifetime. I was first adopted from my birth place (Nauru) as a baby then lost my first adoptive parent to a car accident at roughly 2 and 1/2 years old and was re-adopted by 3. I am at the moment nearly 25 and have found it really exhausting to explain this to people and sometimes wonder if it's really worth people knowing this...I guess because in retrospect I have three families.

I have grown up in a relatively happy family and have NEVER resented the choices made for my own well being (as a child) and of course I love my mother who took me under her care when I was three. But it was only just last year that my sibling from my former adoptive family found me since seeing me when I was 3!! I have to say it was very confronting for me and I feel confused at times and there is a certain sadness that comes along with it. (sorry about the depth of this!! lol)

I love music and write my own songs and being of Pacific Islander decent I have a natural ear for harmonies and I LOVE THEM!!! I have grown up in Australia and love that I have had the chance to start my life here!!!!

I hope to go back one day and have noticed that lately, I think more and more about my biological family. I always wonder about them and sometimes feel like I'm only going to reach dead ends...should I try harder to look for them?

[vegaschristina]

Welcome to Adoption.com! I'm an adoptive mom, so I can't speak to your experiences directly, but most of the adoptees on this board (that I've read, I'm not trying to generalize) seem to either be looking for or have found their birth families. Whatever your decision, to seek them out or not, you have an interesting story and I'm glad you decided to share it with us.

[bprice215]

Only if you really want to find them do you search harder for this is all about you and your wants. Best of luck to you.

bprice215

[white_elephant]

Hey, Welcome! I didn't think your story was long or confusing. You just had the "first timer's jitters"! It makes perfect sense and I could see why you would be confused for real!

As bprice said, it truly is all about what you want to do. This forum is full of caring, experienced, multifaceted, unique sets of situations surrounding the adoption "triad" issues.

I have personally been reading up and listening really hard to what others have gone through and go through in reunion and in searching so that it is a bit more realisitic than my "fantasy reunion"! lol. I just sent off for my non identifying info. a couple of days ago. I've been hanging out here for about three months listening to what has been going on, and decided I just need to know.

If you feel you need to search, or you need to just hang out and listen, or ask more questions, whatever you want to do.... it is up to you, no one can make the decision for you. This is a good place to start. No need to rush into something you aren't prepared for, or to wait for something you feel you need to do either.


Welcome!!!!

[naurusky]

Thanks so much for the comments guys I really appreciate it!! I'm actually really happy that I found this site because I just started searching online about information on adoption and stumbled across Adoption Wisdom. It was so good to find out about the adoption triad affect and it made a lot of sense to me. Then I came across this site. Reading other peoples direct experiences really opened my eyes up and I'm amazed at how many of us there really are (with many more waiting). I love that I have such a unique story and I'm sure that a lot of people here feel the same. I would love to meet my biological family or some eventually, I guess that living in Tasmania really limits the chance of seeing any Islander people here...hee hee there are a few here but I'm so interested in finding out my family tree!

The time will come when I'll really reach out and search for them but right now I'm focusing on my studies then I'll really look into once I finish my degree! I just get down every now and then and I don't mind if people don't even read or reply, just letting it out offers relief, as well as my music!

[naurusky]

Hi white elephant,

You mentioned something about "Non-Identity" info. What does that mean and what is that??

[~felix~]

Hi Naurusky,

I am a reunited mother. I found my daughter 9 years ago. For us, it has been a dream come true in so many aspects. The non id you speak of. If you were adopted from an adoption agency, they will provide you with information from your adoption on your natural parents, but nothing identifing. Sometimes with this info, you are then able to dig. What is your birthdate? There are quite a few online registries as well, heaps of people searching as well as FACEBOOK. Type in adoption.

Best to you,
Nancy

[dlb003]

Hi Naurusky -

I am an adoptee - welcome aboard !

On the Non ID (non -identifying) question that you have. Below is some of the information I received from the agency that placed me - just so you will have an idea of what to expect.


B.mom/dad, maternal and paternal grandparents- birth place, age, nationality, hair, eye and skin coloring, profession at the time. No names.

Numbers#'s of brothers, sisters or previous children from another marriage.

Who knew about me in both families. The state of mind of both my bmom and bdad at the time of my conception and birth. My mothers state of mind when she signed the relinquishment papers.

The strained relationship my bmom had with her father. I am sure that had a lot to do with me. And the fact that my bdad wanted nothing to do with the entire situation.

Paperwork from the hospital with regards to my well being at the time of my birth - note that all the names of doctors, nurses attending and the name of the hospital were WHITED out - prior to sending to me. That was insulting.

Also note that we (adoptees) have figured out that some of the information we are provided... is false - made up. They thought we would never want/need to look...


Anyway - Im sure you get the idea. If I were you, I would go ahead and get this information from your agency if there is one invloved. Even if you dont want to search right now.Who knows in a few years they might say all documents were burned in a fire or something. I am not trying to be negitive - only realistic.

Happy hunting and keep up your studies !

[white_elephant]

Naurusky,

You asked about the non-identifying info.

Here's one definition I pulled off the internet. (I'm still new at this myself)
Definition: Non-identifying Information is usually health/medical information and sometimes other family background. Any information that does not give away identity such as, name, birthdate, address, or phone number.

It varies from place to place and even how the adoption was handled, so by no means is this a "Catch all definition". You would need to check out teh law and what not from where you were born. If and when you are interested in pursing it further, of course.

God bless you, and check in from time to time!

[white_elephant]

Naurusky,

You asked about the non-identifying info.

Here's one definition I pulled off the internet. (I'm still new at this myself)
Definition: Non-identifying Information is usually health/medical information and sometimes other family background. Any information that does not give away identity such as, name, birthdate, address, or phone number.

It varies from place to place and even how the adoption was handled, so by no means is this a "Catch all definition". You would need to check out the laws in the place you were born and adopted at. If and when you are interested in pursing it further, of course.

God bless you, and check in from time to time!