[wishfulthinker]

I know I'm not the only one that feels this way.....I just got released from the hospital today. During my three-day stay I must've been asked at least 20 times what my family history is. This is SO frustrating for several reasons: 1 - It makes me angry that I don't know, I have a right to know this information for myself and my children and yet the law says I'm not entitled to it. 2 - answering that question feels humiliating, like I'm some dog from the pound, or some strange puzzle with no picture for reference. 3 - Why does every single person ask the same questions??? I mean, it's like umm, please just look at my chart, all of this information is there and I'm uncomfortable with that one particular question.

After the second time that question was posed, my husband (God bless him) always chimed in with the answer before I had to. He tries so hard to reassure me that what's going on with me is probably not even genetic (he knows this upsets me although couldn't possible be empathetic as he was not adopted). So, I come home and google what I have and guess what...it IS genetic. Surprise, surprise. Oh well, I can at least tell my kids that this runs in their genes (unfortunately).

With the importance of family medical histories alone, adoption files should be made available to adult adoptees. It might save some of us from additional tests and also help us to stay healthy knowing that we are at risk for certain things.

So frustrating....

[jaci101]

I am a 55 year old birthmother trying to locate a 38 year old daughter who may have inherited my genetic endocrine disorder. I had not been diagnosed at the time I gave her up for adoption. I have information to share. Are you 38? Were you born on July 9th in Oklahoma City, OK? If so, please respond.

[wishfulthinker]

I will be 38 in a couple of weeks, but I was not born in OK. Sorry. Good luck to you. Your daughter is lucky to have a bmother searching for her.

[Dickons]

I am so sorry for what you are going through.

Genetics play a major role in our health. Anyone who does not believe that is so wrong. I am 'medically' retired and truly believe I would still be working and enjoying an active life if I had had my family medical history.

What I cannot understand is why the medical community is not urging the government to change the laws. So many of us suffer for no reason.

Kind regards,
Dickons

[dlb003]

Hi Wishful - Great post!

I remember when I first started to go the doctor on my own - without my mother. I used to feel GUILTY for not knowing and ASHAMED that that I could not answer the question. Like it was somehow my fault that I didn't know my own family's medical history. I always felt like a second class citizen by the time I walked out of the doctors office

Obviously, now that I am older and have a bit more of a grip on those emotions (at least I like to think so!) and a allot more understanding of adoption, I just say " I dunno - I am adopted". And then I wait for the inevitable silence from the embarrassed medical practitioner, who usually say's " Oh" and then ....nothing. I seem to get a kick out of it now. Sometimes though, I do say it with distain, I don't mean to, but I think that may be unconscious. My anger about the entire uncontrollable issue seems to get the better of me sometimes.

[SRODRIGUEZ]

To Wishfulthinker:
I Know This Is Little Late But I Do Know The Feeling Of Not Having Any Family History. I Am 43 Yrs Old And Been Asked That Question So Many Times My Head Would Spin. I Was In The Hospital 1 Month Ago With A Toxic Infection Of My Colon Called C-diff. I Now Have Maybe Crone's Disease Or Autoimmune Disorder. They Think My Illness Other Than The C-diff Could Be A Heridtary But They Are Not Sure. I Finally Got The Courage To Call My B-aunt Who I Found Back In 1983 And Asked About Any Diseases In Her Family. I Had Not Spoken To Her In 22 Years Because I Was Hurt That She Would Not Agree To Meet Me Nor Tell Me Anything About Her Sister Meaning My Birthmom. I Guess Maybe She Knows Her Sister Does Not Want Contact And Believe Me That Is Hard To Swallow. I Am From An Era Where Adoptions Were Closed And Remain Closed. I Agree We Have A Right To Know And A Right To Medical Information. I Hope Your Health Continues To Better And Hang In There And Don't Give Up Hope!!

[FAYE56]

Wishfulthinker.......

I know what you mean but, for me it was usually the Doctor going "ugggggggg" when my response was one word "ADOPTED"................

now after 30 years of searching I now have my medical history: in the words of my birthmother (who by the way has rejected me (again) - another story another day) "there is no such thing as genetic medical problems - it's all Gods Will"

ugggggggggg!

[EZ2Luv]

I used to get asked that question by doctors and it was frustrating to have keep repeating myself. That and the fact that I never had desire to ever search, not even for medical info, it is just something I had absolutely no intentions of doing. As afte would have it, I was in a serious car accident in 2001 and during a CAT scan something was noticed on my kidney that was not good at all. I had a wonderful doctor friend at the time who did everything she could to convince me of the importance of medical history and I still resisted. It wasn't until the rubber really hit the road and I was in dire medical need that I made up my mind I would search, but ONLY for medical informayion, no kind of reunion or relationship. Needless to say, I searched and found in 18 days and thankfull I went into search with out any expectaions or desires because my bfamily resisted and rejected me. I hadto get my medical information through a cousin of theirs because they refused to give it to me. If for anything else medical information/history shoul be available to adoptees.

EZ

[snuffie]

Oh, I can remember so well all of the years that I would be asked for my medical history and I could only reply "I don't know - I'm adopted". Now that I am reunited I can at least give my bmom's history. And because I have that history, I know what things to watch out for and why some things have happened to me.

While I try to understand why some birthfamilies do not want a reunion, I guess I will never understand why they will not help us by giving a health history.

Snuffie

[sal]

The two times that being adopted really reared it's head for me were Dr's appointments and my birthday. Even though it was written in BIG letters on my health files.. ADOPTED...I was ALWAYS asked about health history!!! Frustrating to say the least! Those were the times when I felt the most different...and the times when I would have pain bubble up. My birthdays always brought me mixed feelings....happy I was going to celebrate ...while sad at the same time because that day marked the day that I was separated from the woman who gave birth to me. Dealing with all of that as a child was pretty challenging at times...One of the perks of aging..you have the ability to deal with things better!... hang in there... you are all who you are supposed to be... sal

[Tazer]

Originally Posted by snuffie

Oh, I can remember so well all of the years that I would be asked for my medical history and I could only reply "I don't know - I'm adopted". Now that I am reunited I can at least give my bmom's history. And because I have that history, I know what things to watch out for and why some things have happened to me.

While I try to understand why some birthfamilies do not want a reunion, I guess I will never understand why they will not help us by giving a health history.

Snuffie

My brother is an A-parent; last year I went to Childrens Hosp. with him and his wife to take my 18 m.o. nephew to have the tubes placed in his ears. We expected and got the usual medical history questions but were shocked when after telling an RN that *R* was adopted w/ very little documented history, ( Baby Moses Placement) she replied to my brother, "Just give me YOUR HISTORY we'll use that b/c the computer won't proceed unless I put something in!" He advised her to use the history and insurance information of the 14yo child she checked in before him!
Tracy

[goldeneagle]

Does anyone think of ethics in this world. How un ethical and I believe against the law to take someone elses medical history. I would have lodge a complaint and sent it to my mp.