[belleinblue1978]

Brandy,

I'm so sorry that you are in this position, when it rains huh?

Take care of yourself, you have done more than your share.

[wishfulthinker]

Brandy,
I'm really sorry that you had such an aweful experience with your aparents to make you feel the way you do today. I can only speak from my own experience and whenever I hear people complain about being "burdened" with taking care of their parents it breaks my heart because I miss mine so terribly.

I didn't mean to offend you and I'm sorry if I did. You do whatever it is that you need to do to live your life to its fullest. Best of luck.

[xxsurroundedbyxy]

Just want to say I am sorry for what, apparently, was a miserable childhood. I can't comment further as I don't know your whole story, but I can say that if you don't feel any love and compassion towards your parents then you are NOT the person for the job. And I am sorry they are trying to guilt you into it. But some of the guilt must be working, because you have come to the forum to vent and explain to us strangers why you won't do it. So, I am saying a prayer that you release any guilt you feel and don't give it another moments thought so that you truly can move forward and let it go.

Kim

[snuffie]

Brandy, I will say what I said in a previous post - Take care of yourself first. That is not being selfish, it is self preservation.

Wishfulthinker, I, too, miss my aparents with all of my heart. It took about 3 plus years to be able to drive by the house they lived in for over 30 years without crying. I think about them all of the time and love them with all of my heart. When they became ill, their neighbors kept calling me and telling me I needed to do something and believe me I tried. But my dad was stubborn and wouldn't let outside help come in, he thought that I would be the one to do everything. A neighbor of theirs bad mouthed me constantly because she felt I needed to be with them all of the time. But I have health problems (nearly died last year) a very stressful job (I work until midnight) and had other things going on with my own family that made it impossible. And my aparents required much more care than I could give. It was very easy for those not in my situation to judge. Did I feel guilty? Yes, but thankfully I realized before my health was totally gone that even if my care was not "hands on" I had done everything humanly possible in my own situation.
I don't think most of us complain about caring for our parents because we don't care or don't love them. It's because we do feel "helpless" to stop something that is inevitable, and frustrated that we, ourselves, are not in a position to give them the best possible care. My husband told me yet again the other night that he thinks that I've never recovered from the stress that I went through with my parents. I've since had a stroke and heart problem.