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#31
06-20-2008, 03:24 AM
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Wow Brock you've managed to hit the nail on the head over and over again for me. I'm so happy to see you for who you are, not for what you want to be. I remember thinking these thoughts but never voiced them and then there you have it. Right before my very eyes you snatch me back into reality. I really want to say thanks for your post and to tell you, you never ramble. You are a rock of mine and have a most profound effect, all one needs to do is look. You make me come clean Brock, and I hope you can understand how important these post of yours are for me. You are what I'd like to be when I grow up. Again thanks.
bprice215 
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#32
06-20-2008, 05:31 PM
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http://adoptionsupport.ning.com/
hi - i've just created a website and would be so grateful if you could join.
i was adopted at birth and have recently met my birth parents. it was tough and enlightening. i'm in the process of trying to develop this site at the moment but any help would be much appreciated. also, i'm searching for my younger half-brother who was my birth father's child and was adopted away to new york from dublin in 1991. i was sent from dublin to london and grew up in the UK. thanks and please join: Adoption Support liz x
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#33
06-21-2008, 07:05 AM
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Keds..I've missed you too!!! And I want to say a few things to you...even though I'm not your bson, as an adoptee I want you to know that you are a remarkable woman, regardless of how you feel!!! You are caring, compassionate, and loving. Choices you made at 17 have affected your life in major ways, but even those choices don't define who you are as a person, and I can try to understand the bmom perspective of hoping to have the missing child's life validate yours...you hope for that stamp of approval that the decisions that you made or had made for you, as the case may be, were not made in vain. That the pain and longing that you felt for those long years of wondering would result in peace and a knowing that everything is "okay". Regardless of how it all turns out you are NOT that "stupid 17 year old" anymore. I also want to say, you were NEVER a stupid 17 year old!!!!!!!!! You were simply a girl who found herself in a situation MANY young people find themselves in, and you did the best you could at that time. Honey, you chose life!!! (not sure if abortion was legal or not...doesn't matter) I KNOW there was pain, your heart was broken, and you probably felt like you messed up big time. And I HATE that things were not different back then, especially for people like you, but that one event does NOT make you, as a person, any less valuable or in need of validation. You have proven yourself worthy, not because of what you do, but because of who you are!!!!!! I am sorry things are at a standstill in the reunion. Reunion really is a tug-of-war of emotions and knowing what to do. If you need to talk PM me or email me. (if you need my email addy just PM me for it) It is amazing to me that both sides of reunion are often hoping that meeting the other side will "change our life"...and it does. Sometimes the change is not what we expected or hoped for...but if we dig deep enough into our own souls, we find that we change because we are faced with our own desires and wishes for our lives, and we have to come to a point where we recognize that it had to come from within all along..... Take care my lil' keds!!!!  Lori 
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"Lip gloss, cute shoes,  to the 80's, and saying Good Bye to  ... TG & Brock Rock Campaign 2008!"I am Brock, and I approve of this message! "Have no fear for givin' in. Have no fear for giving over. You better know in the end it's better to say too much, then never to say what you need to say again.Even if your hands are shaking, and your faith is broken. Even as the eyes are closin', Do it with a heart wide open! Say what you need to say. Say what you need to say. Say what you need to say......" __________________________  Nobody puts Baby in a corner!
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#34
06-21-2008, 07:09 AM
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Thanks for all your support and allowing me to "be honest" with you about how I felt SO many times!!! You are a great "mama hen"! your lil' chickie!!
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"Lip gloss, cute shoes, to the 80's, and saying Good Bye to ... TG & Brock Rock Campaign 2008!"I am Brock, and I approve of this message! "Have no fear for givin' in. Have no fear for giving over. You better know in the end it's better to say too much, then never to say what you need to say again.Even if your hands are shaking, and your faith is broken. Even as the eyes are closin', Do it with a heart wide open! Say what you need to say. Say what you need to say. Say what you need to say......" __________________________ Nobody puts Baby in a corner!
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#35
06-21-2008, 07:19 AM
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Jackie... thank you for sharing that. It really spoke to my heart the importance of sharing those words with my bmom. Words are free, but they are also VERY powerful! Proverbs 18:21 (amplified Bible) states, "Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and they who indulge in it shall eat the fruit of it (for death or life). So that scripture shows me that I have a CHOICE over speaking DEATH or LIFE to my bmom. And I choose LIFE! If she has things that she needs to hear from me, to help her accept healing, and I have the POWER to do that...then by all means why wouldn't I!??!?! Thanks for taking me even deeper into realizing what I choose to say does have either life giving fruit to her or the fruit of death (to her soul). I hope this makes sense.... When you spoke of you holding on to your guilt, and going in circles with it...that's how I felt with my need to be right! Not until we CAN see that and then choose to let go of it...can we really begin to embrace one another for who we are. Take care!!!! 
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"Lip gloss, cute shoes, to the 80's, and saying Good Bye to ... TG & Brock Rock Campaign 2008!"I am Brock, and I approve of this message! "Have no fear for givin' in. Have no fear for giving over. You better know in the end it's better to say too much, then never to say what you need to say again.Even if your hands are shaking, and your faith is broken. Even as the eyes are closin', Do it with a heart wide open! Say what you need to say. Say what you need to say. Say what you need to say......" __________________________ Nobody puts Baby in a corner!
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#36
06-21-2008, 07:26 AM
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Looking...I agree 100% Adoption changes everyone's lives that are involved, it's not for the faint of heart! A journey is a wonderful way to describe our lives...on a journey there are many things that happen that shape us, but sometimes some events have a bigger impact on who we become....and I want to choose to become a stronger, more compassionate and understanding person on this side of my journey.... Thanks for your kind words of support!!!
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"Lip gloss, cute shoes, to the 80's, and saying Good Bye to ... TG & Brock Rock Campaign 2008!"I am Brock, and I approve of this message! "Have no fear for givin' in. Have no fear for giving over. You better know in the end it's better to say too much, then never to say what you need to say again.Even if your hands are shaking, and your faith is broken. Even as the eyes are closin', Do it with a heart wide open! Say what you need to say. Say what you need to say. Say what you need to say......" __________________________ Nobody puts Baby in a corner!
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#37
06-21-2008, 07:33 AM
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Bp...sometimes I am amazed of the light that you see me in. Please, take off those rose colored glasses! LOL It has been HARD work, and I still have a LONG way to go...there are still days when I think, "Why in the world am I doing this!?" and then there are those moments of, "Aha..THIS is why I am doing this!" What is it that I make you come clean with!? I didn't know I had that effect on you.... Thanks for your very kind words!!!! I hope you remember that you were the FIRST person that made me think, that perhaps my bdad wasn't such a bad guy afterall. (Back before reunion when I said I NEVER wanted to talk to him.) I am glad that I did talk with him, and while we haven't talked in a while, you reminding me of those feelings, makes me want to pick up the phone once again.....so THANK you for reminding me of some things as well!  this guy reminds me of you! lolTalk to you later! brock
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"Lip gloss, cute shoes, to the 80's, and saying Good Bye to ... TG & Brock Rock Campaign 2008!"I am Brock, and I approve of this message! "Have no fear for givin' in. Have no fear for giving over. You better know in the end it's better to say too much, then never to say what you need to say again.Even if your hands are shaking, and your faith is broken. Even as the eyes are closin', Do it with a heart wide open! Say what you need to say. Say what you need to say. Say what you need to say......" __________________________ Nobody puts Baby in a corner!
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#38
06-21-2008, 07:40 AM
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Carol... Thank you for such an uplifting and encouraging post! The getting past ourselves is the hard part, for sure, and now that I can start to see past ME I think that I can allow some real growth to take place IN me. Regardless of how my bmom reacts, knowing I've done what I've been called to do, will take me to a place of even greater freedom! I once was taught that I am "not responsible for people, but to them" meaning...I can not be responsible for their reactions, feelings, ect...but I can be responsible towards them in the way that I conduct myself and how I treat them....so I choose to be responsible to and not for my bmom. Afterall, I am the one who initiated contacted.....this is not to say, that I will allow her to manipulate or abuse me, because in doing that I will not be helping her either! Once again, thank you Carol!!
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"Lip gloss, cute shoes, to the 80's, and saying Good Bye to ... TG & Brock Rock Campaign 2008!"I am Brock, and I approve of this message! "Have no fear for givin' in. Have no fear for giving over. You better know in the end it's better to say too much, then never to say what you need to say again.Even if your hands are shaking, and your faith is broken. Even as the eyes are closin', Do it with a heart wide open! Say what you need to say. Say what you need to say. Say what you need to say......" __________________________ Nobody puts Baby in a corner!
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#39
06-22-2008, 05:01 AM
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BrockBaby
Quote:
A friend said to me once.. that I needed to forgive my mother.. I just shook my head no.. Then a therapist told me the very same thing.. To understand she was wrong.. and heck go through the business of being angry with her and then coming to a place of forgiveness.. In my heart.. I do not know if my bson is angry with me.. and I am afraid of it.. I made terrible mistakes when I was pregnant.. Terrible for him.. I ran and I forgot and I lied.. Lied to myself.. And it is so hard to sort through all that.. To finally tell the truth.. I watch Coronation Street.. I love that soap from the UK and in the show right now a character did not want to tell her son she had a change done to her body from man to woman.. I know its just a character etc etc.. She could not tell this young man that she is his father.. and the risk being he will never be in contact with her again.. Her partner told her she must tell him.. must.. and she did and now we are into seeing what happens next. But.. the guilt some birthmoms go into IMO are covered in lies.. and breaking through and telling the actual truth.. is so hard.. To risk the fact that they may be totally not forgiven and totally left behind.. or not spoken to is hard.. I had to tell my bson some things that I could have lied about.. but I could not live with the guilt.. guilt on guilt.. Guilt that I was so stupid in those days.. and yes I was stupid.. and guilt that I did not face up to what I should have faced up to.. stood in and owned.. But I did it.. I told the truth when he found me.. Quote:
One makes choices when the bad times come.. and those choices are final on terms of giving a baby up for adoption.. Or telling a lie to the agency.. or telling a lie to others in the life that follows.. I have known birthmoms that are still living that lie.. and dare not ever tell.. Forgive that.. and understand that a kid or a frightened young woman does something that she did not does not want to do.. And then buries it so deep she appears cold and unloving.. Quote:
We all mess up.. this is what makes us human.. but this messing up is big and affects a person on a core level.. When I understood what I had actually done I was.. heck the word may be guilty.. But I choose to be honest now whether he can take it or not.. and you choose to forgive.. Wonderful thing.. Jackie
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#40
06-23-2008, 09:04 PM
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Hi Brock! I miss you too, I"m off for a few days on flights for business so I'm only on for 2 minutes but wanted to say thanks! You are too special. He did send me an e-mail this week so I feel guilty for feeling badly. We'll talk next week when I'm home and have 2 minutes to myself. LOL Kate
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#41
06-23-2008, 09:06 PM
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Sounds like a plan! I miss you too!!!
Be safe!! Glad for the email, by-the-way!
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"Lip gloss, cute shoes, to the 80's, and saying Good Bye to ... TG & Brock Rock Campaign 2008!"I am Brock, and I approve of this message! "Have no fear for givin' in. Have no fear for giving over. You better know in the end it's better to say too much, then never to say what you need to say again.Even if your hands are shaking, and your faith is broken. Even as the eyes are closin', Do it with a heart wide open! Say what you need to say. Say what you need to say. Say what you need to say......" __________________________ Nobody puts Baby in a corner!
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