[i_love_lorelai]

I recently restarted the hunt for my birth mother... and severa red flags have been raised in the past day. I wanted to post them to see if I'm grasping for straws or if there's something legit here.

1) I was picked up by my parents (adoptive) at the lawyer's house that handled my adoption. The lawyer's wife apparently was quite upset to let me go.

2) I was born on 10/12/1980. My birth certificate was sent to the state on 10/15/80. The official copy was not sent til 08/04/1981, almost 10 months later.

3) I was originally told that my birthmom was married shortly after I was born. However, this was told to me in a moment of anger by my AM at least 10 years ago. When I noticed the large time lapse in the dates I asked my AD about it. He said that the delay was due to the fact that the lawyer was wrapped up in the marriage of my birth mother and it was impossible to get in contact with him. The lawyer's family and my birthmom were apparently close.

4) I have always been told that my birthmom was in high school when I was born... more than likely in the younger end... The lawyer's own children were 15(f), 16(m), and 18(F) at the time of my birth.

With all of this am I crazy to think that I may in fact be related to the lawyer in some way or is this normal practice? In my experience, the only familys that are that tied up with a wedding are those involved. If there is not an actual family connection, I'm thinking the children would fairly accurately remember a family friend that was a peer who was pregnant.

I'm going to pick up my non-id information from the courthouse on Thursday. Would it be rude to ask one of the lawyer's children if they remembered anything? I don't want to send an email as that could just get ignored. After researching the family I've found that one of the children is a realtor... which would be really easy to come into contact with...

Any advice would be incredibly appreciated!!!

[BrockBaby]

My advice to you would be to do what your heart tells you to do. When I was searching, people told me not to make phone calls initially, but that is what worked in my mind for me...and in the end it was a phone call that made the connection for me with my bfamily. I had actually contacted a bcousin on my bmom's side who knew about me. (I was blessed in the fact that my bmom told EVERYONE about me) There is a chance though, that people will not be honest...but they can not be honest regardless of whatever way you contact them. I would suggest that if you do make contact with them that you assure them that you don't want to intrude or interupt anyone's lives....sometimes that can be a fear if it is a "hidden" adoption.....I would also give them your contact information that way if they are unable to talk to you at that moment they have a way of contacting you in the future. You could even say...if you happen to remember something or know of someone who may know something feel free to contact me at a later time....

I wish you luck!! It might be helpful to get your non-id first...but I am wondering if it is a private adoption where you are getting your non-id from.

[i_love_lorelai]

I'm getting the non-id in the county where the adoption took place.

[txrnr]

My advice would be to get the non-id, see if any information there matches, then sit on it for a few weeks. If you still have the same hunch, then by all means, contact them. The time off period is more to calm you down, give you a chance to think about what you know than anything.

When I got my non-id, it turned into identifying info, and it had a nice little twist to it. I've now been sitting on it for 11 months.

Good luck, and it sounds like your hunches could be correct, or at least it's a strange set of circumstances.