[alynp]

I am wondering about the steps you take in your family relationships, adopted and birth, to take care of people's feelings? Do you feel you put more effort into this than others? When do you worry about your parents feelings- especially in relation to reunion?

Thanks!

[Nicole28]

I am not in reunion, but in general I do tend to neglect my own emotional well-being in favor of nurturing everyone else around me!

In relationships [prior to my current, healthy relationship] I always neglected myself and took care of my partner...in a sense, I was afraid that if I didn't do "enough," they would leave me. This took a toll on me emotionally and mentally but I did it anyway because I didn't know any other way.

In regards to my parents, I opt not to share my search with them in an effort to protect them emotionally.

I sought counseling about six months ago - didn't continue with it, since I am "poor college student" - but one thing that the counselor noticed right off the bat after spending one session with me was that I was not focusing enough on my own emotional/mental/physical well-being, and that I spent far too much time focused on the needs of other people. This, she claimed, was exhausting me. She was right, ha!

[carolynppk]

Oh AMy, I can sure relate to this one. I will do anything to keep from hurting someone else's feelings. I would be crushed to know someone was upset with me or that I had hurt someone. Again, you also know my feelings, nature or nurture. I think many things and experiences make up what we feel and who we are and to pin point it on one specific thing is incorrect. I miss you!!

Carolyn

P.S. I will write you soon, my mother had an accident and is in ICU, she hasn't woke up and it does not look good. I feel bad I haven't spoken with you lately.

[Nicole28]

Not to hijack the thread, but Carolyn, I hope everything is going okay with your mom...keep us updated. I'm thinking about you!

[carolynppk]

Thank you for your kind thoughts Nicole. We will more than likely be taking my mom off of the ventilator on Thursday. I have been very blessed with a wonderful first mom and a wonderful forever mom. God is good.

Love, Carolyn