[tista]

Well, I think that you answered my question.

As an actual adoptee, as is my husband, I guess that I have no business, as his wife, asking or being curious about this process. Since we are try to conceive a child.

Thank you for your input

[carolynppk]

Tista,
No one said you don't have a right to be curious or want to know about the process. Many of us here would love to help you and bounce thoughts off of. What I think most of us are saying is that this is a very delicate situation. One that is very intense and very personal. If your husband does not want to search, then you should not push him in that way. And I do understand that you wonder since you are trying to conceive, but as I said, unless something really stands out in your husband's health, I think you are pretty safe. Not to say that things aren't there, but most doctors I know, if you say, I am adopted and don't know my medical background, they will then screen since they don't know if it is a possibilty, they take that into the equation. There arethings that come into play even when you do know both health history sides that no one saw coming. As one poster said, do genetic testing if you are that concerned for health issues.

I cannot stress enough that the decession to search is very personal. I think as a spouse, it is your place to support him in whatever HIS choice is. If he chooses to search, don't take it over, let him do it and go at his own pace. If he chooses not to search, you must respect that and not push him. It isn't all fairytale endings. There are many here in great reunions, as there are many here that are brokenhearted to what they have found, wishing they never started the search.

You came here asking for adoptees input, I think no one has been rude in telling you to respect your husband's feelings on what he wants to do. If you do want some insight, then hang out on the boards, ask other adoptees how they feel about this or that, but don't take that to be gospel for your husband. Each adoption is as unique as each person. And just because one adoptee feels one way, it doesn't mean they all do. But one thing I think we (adoptees) can all agree on is that is must be his choice.

Sincerely,
Carolyn

[txrnr]

Originally Posted by tista

Well, I think that you answered my question.

As an actual adoptee, as is my husband, I guess that I have no business, as his wife, asking or being curious about this process. Since we are try to conceive a child.

Thank you for your input

I may have missed something, but what other question besides the Oh records being closed did you have? Most of your post seemed to be that your husband didn't want to talk about it, and that his sister had searched for her family. Then you mentioned that you were considering having children, and worried about medical issues. It seems to me that everyone tried their best to answer you... Send off for Non-ID info and see what you get.

I personally thought your message was more about concern for your husband and his lack of curiosity than anything else.

I'm just curious, since you are also an adoptee, have you had any luck finding out your medical information?

[tista]

My Gosh,

Everyone is so steadfast about me not prying into my husband's journey that I cannot in good faith continue.

Thanks Everyone,

T

[carolynppk]

I am sorry that you do not want to hear what we are trying to tell you and that you have taken such offense at what has been said in a caring manner. You came here asking what "we" thought. I am sorry it isn't the answer you were wanting to hear. I don't think anything here was said in malice or spite, just trying to offer some prospective into something very intense and personal. Best of luck to you and your new marriage. Sorry to have offended.

Carolyn