[mom2alex]

Hi. Just a little history...I am the adoptive mom of an almost 4 year old. From the beginning we have desired an open adoption with our daughters birthparents. After learning about both of them, we wanted it even more. They are both truly remarkable people. But they were very hesitant about the idea, for the number one reason of not feeling it was in her best interest. They thought it would be confusing to her, that she didn't need them in her lives, and that she would resent them down the road for the decisions they made. So the adoption has been completely closed from the start.

Fast forward to the present. Through a twist of fate, we are now in contact with her birthfather. We met in person earlier this month and he is amazing. I can definitely see where having a relationship with him would prove beneficial to our daughter. But he still has a few reservations. He just wants to be sure what we do is going to be best for our daughter. He also has this preconceived notion that she will be angry at him when she is a teenager. He asked if I knew of any situations where teenagers are or were involved in an open adoption. Since most of my friends have little ones, I don't have access to the perspectives of adoptees in this age group.

So if there is anyone who who mind sharing their stories/perspectives....I would be thrilled! If you aren't comfortable posting, you can e-mail me directly at shawnsue4ever@yahoo.com

Thanks so much. We are all trying to do what is going to be best for our daughter and just feel we could use a bit more guidance as to what that might be.