[reiscmi]

my brother calls his bmom mother because he wants to acknowledge that she is also his mother.
I call my bmom by her name. I can't even imagine giving her the title mother. I do acknowledge her motherhood to me in the sense that she gave birth to me, but it stops their and I don't find her deserving of a mother title. I just wanted to know how all of you feel about this subject. thanks

[RainStorm]

I don’t know my birthmother and I don’t know if I ever will. If I ever meet her and developed some sort of relationship with her no way in gods green earth would I ever call her Mother or Mom. I’d just use her first name. Simple because though I respect her greatly for giving me life and giving me up when I know she could not have given me the best life. She is not my mother that title goes to the woman who has cared and taken care of me since I was 3 weeks old.

[terrirose9]

I call my bmom. "mom". My story is a bit different . I have been reunited since I was 15. I lived with her from that point on due to my a-parents wishes. She is my mom and had a chance to parent me through "what I know now" as the teenage which can be the hardest years. When I talk to her almost everyday I cal her mom. I still call my a-mom "mom" as well.

[tenniner]

I am getting to the point of calling bmom mom. My kids will call her by her name until they decide different my daughter even refers to her as my bmom. I dont know that I will say "hey mom" to her but with other people she is mom.

[irisheyes33]

I call my bmom by her first name, but only because that's what makes the two of us comfortable. I love her immensly, but she doesn't feel like "mom" to me. The parental baggage isn't there. She feels almost more like my twin sister.

Besides, I have to admit that I feel guilty because my amom has been hurt by my reunion...calling my bmom "mom" would just feel strange partly for that reason...but I am working on getting past the guilt!

[PastorStephanie]

For the first 8 years of my reuion I called my bmom by her first name. During year 8, I tried out refering to her as mom- outside of her presense, with my bsiblings or my friends.... it felt comfortable to me so I allowed her to over hear it a few times... she seemed comfortable with it too.

We have been using the mom title for about a year and half now and I don't want that to ever change. I of course always call my amom mom as well! I just have two moms who love me! I don't feel that in my life the title must be reserved for only one women.

[keds]

I hope you don't mind a post from a bmom but I think that the parents that raise you are "mom and dad". I'm just happy to be called. Titles are unimportant. If my bson ever called me "mom", I can't say I wouldn't be happy but it would feel "strange". As others said, after a period of time everyone finds what is comfortable for their relationship. All the best.

[kakuehl]

Another bmom here. D calls me Kathy which is fine. As my bishop says, call me anything, just not late to dinner. His mom has also been somewhat uncomfortable with our ongoing relationship and as far as I'm concerned, she is his mom and I do not want her hurt. D and I share a bond that's different from being "friends" - but he certainly doesn't need another mother!

[BrockBaby]

It still feels strange to me that I am actually able to post on a question like this and have MY answer to the question, rather than what I THOUGHT I might do. I am new to reunion, and it's been quite an adjustment. I call my bmom by her first name. Actually when I am talking about her to most people I call her My {insert first name here...lol}. As a matter-of-fact, I have never actually called her by any name or title to her face. hmmmm, guess I just avoid that.
I am on the same mindset as a few of the others, My MOM is my MOM. Personally, my bmom will NEVER be my mom....but I have my reasons for that. I think it is all a personal choice, and either way is fine. We have been told how to feel, what to think for long enough as adoptees, so I think we need to do what is comfortable for both us and our found family.

[Jan18]

I've been in reunion for 1 1/2 years. Initially, I called my bmom by her first name. At first I could never imagine referring to her with a name that signified that she was my mother. Over time, I wanted to stop calling her by her first name only and added Momma to the front. Recently, I spend a week with her and two of my sisters. I started just calling her Momma, as my sisters do. She is only 15 years older then me, so it is kind of weird to be calling this woman who is so close in age to me, "momma", but I hated calling her by her first name. My amom is mom and my bmom is momma.

[quantum]

Bson hasn't really called me anything! I refer to myself as Tammy in emails or whatever. He has a couple of times referred to me as mom (as in 'how embarrassing, I'm out on the town with my mom' he's got a fun sense of humor).

I'm comfortable with being called anything really!

As a side note, when I grew up I had a couple of very good friends whose moms I called 'mom' and they called my mom 'mom' as well. It was just nice. I don't think the term 'mom' or whatever has to have a lot of baggage attached.

[gemini678]

I call the woman who gave birth to me by HER first name. 'Mother' or 'Momma' will always be for the woman who raised me. Never say never, but I don't plan on calling HER mom or mother. SHE will always be called by HER first name.

[chris1965]

I've been in reunion for about 2 1/2 years now and still would feel awkward for me to call my bmom "Mom". However, the name listed on my adoption court file was her middle name and that's what I've always called her by, but she actually goes by her first name; only her closest family calls her by her middle name: An anomoly that worked out nicely in both our favor.

[erikamarie]

I call my bmom by her first name. My extended bfamily has never pushed me into calling her mom. Infact they call her by her first name as well when talking to me about her. They also refer to my aparents as my mom and dad. It helps with a lot of confusion. I was worried about this also when I was first reunited, I didn't want my bmom to feel that I was being disrespectful. But she eventually talked to me about it and told me that she understood if I didn't call her mom, that took a huge load off my shoulders.
~Erika

[Mil]

My son calls me by my first name. The first time we ever talked on the phone, he asked what he should call me. I suggested he call me by my first name, as his amom is his mom. When he introduces me to someone, he calls my his birthmother. But he never calls me my first name to my face, lol.

At the time I suggested that he not call me mom, I thought that title should be reserved for his amom, but later I realized that you a lot of times end up calling different people 'mom'. I call my mother-in-law 'mom' and she didn't raise me. Some people call their friends mother 'mom' and nobody thinks anything of it. But I guess it's whatever two people are comfortable with.