[angel_island1622]

Okay, so it just dawned on me last night that Mother's Day is a little over a month away. I have such an unsettling feeling about this, and do not know how to handle this, given that I have been in reunion less than a year, and only in the form of letters.

How do any of you plan to handle Mother's Day this year? Have any of you already been through this?

I would be so appreciative to get some support on this matter.

[PastorStephanie]

My bmom and I have had an on again off again relationship for ten years. Last year around Mother's Day, we were in close contact and had been for six months... with a commitment to no more "off's again". I really wrestled with how to handle Mother's Day. I felt like it should be acknowledged but wasn't sure how to do so without coming on too strong.

I settled on sending flowers to her (I live out of state) with a simple card that read: Dear_____, Thanks for loving me back then and accepting me back now. Happy Mother's Day Love, ______ That went over really well. She called right away and thanked me for the card and the flowers. I think it was the card that did it=)

This year, I'm as stuck as you....!

[quantum]

I'm a bmom who has just been in contact with bson for a little over a month. So this is the first time for us!
I'm not expecting anything.
Actually we're going to have our first ftf in the week after mom's day, but that's another story.

So, really i guess i'd be thrilled with some show of affection, but I'm not expecting anything and won't be disappointed if there's nothing!

Doesn't really help, does it?
:-)

[cnb1099]

I am in the same boat as the op. I have been in reunion less than a year ( we connected the week after mothers day last year) and I am thinking of a nice card. She is not exactly "out" to her family about me so flowers or something would be conspicuous. But I may just borrow PastorStephanies note (if she doesnt mind! ) because that said things perfectly!

[PastorStephanie]

Of course, everyone may feel free to borrow the wording at will! I inculded it because I struggled with it so much and when I finally came up with it, I felt good about it. I wanted to save others the same struggle!

[Peace.]

I've met b/mom 12 year ago and have had twice a year card only contact since then, the last 6 months have seen letter and a few emails, we haven't actually spoken since the first meeting. I've never acknowledged Mothers Day and can't see me doing so in the future. I still can't quite believe that she is my mom, I can't help but keep that title and day for my 'real mom' who raised me. But I do want and need a relationship with my b mom and she is working up the courage to tell her family about me. (she's told no-one I exist)

[Jan18]

Last year I made a card with a saying similar to...many mother's days have past, but this is the first one that I can say Happy Mother's Day. I know I don't have the saying exactly right. I believe I found it on an adoption web site that had cards for such an occasion. I think I also sent flowers. It is a tough one. This year I'll probably send flowers again. We are a bit closer in our relationship then we were last year.

[DJbluenosenewfie]

I dont know if this is the right spot to right a question like this....but how would you celebrate mothers day towards a deceassed B-mom......i know that on her birthday i wrote her a letter and burned it so the ashes could float to heave with her........i just dont know if that seems right enough to do on mothers day

[erikamarie]

Oh man! I am so glad you posted this. I have been in reunion for less than a year as well. I didn't even think of doing anything for mothers day. I am not that close with my bmom though. I am glad you made me think about it. Thanks!

[SuddenlySusan]

Originally Posted by DJbluenosenewfie

I dont know if this is the right spot to right a question like this....but how would you celebrate mothers day towards a deceassed B-mom......i know that on her birthday i wrote her a letter and burned it so the ashes could float to heave with her........i just dont know if that seems right enough to do on mothers day

...I used to plant a rose bush in her garden on my birthday, to honor her and give her a living gift (she's my mom, I'm not adopted). I've felt a lost since she died, not quite knowing how to honor her since her garden is no more.

I think there is another forum to post about birth family members who have died... maybe we can find some suggestions there...

Best wishes to you, DJbluenosenewfie...

Peace,
Susan

[Lynn]

Hi.......I am a birthmom and I have been in reunion with my son now for 7 years. We have had our ups and downs. I got a Mothers day card a week late last year for the first time from him. In fact it's the first card he ever sent me. I couldn't stop looking at it. I will cherish it for ever.
Hugs,
Lynn

[InionGrinn]

It depends on how your reuinon is...how platonic or deep or in-the-middle you are. I searched my heart and listened and followed it.

It was Mothers day overseas about 3 weeks ago- I got one of those soft photo albums (mainly b/c I am a "secret" and I know my mom carries pics and letters from me in her purse - so I was going for small/portable) and went through my parents photo albums and put in pics from my babyhood through high school graduation. She already had pics of me as an adult...

So I mailed that...I hand made a cover, put a note in it, and over the atlantic it went....

[SadMother]

I'm in the UK so Mother's Day here has been and gone which was the third into reunion for me and my son. The first two went unmentioned between the two of us as he openly admits he "doesn't do" cards .

This year he was with us (living with us atm) so my dh gave him a "little nudge" and I received a card and dvd off him. If I hadn't been told on the quiet by my dh I would have been shocked but I still appreciated the fact that my son took the effort to buy me something and something he knew I would actually like

[kharma1130]

As a bmom in reunion I have to say that a Mother's Day card means SO much to me. Even though he has a mom he has acknowledged me on every Mother's Day since our reunion. That's a tough day for any birthmom and it's nice to be recognized. I would be devastated if he ignored me on that special day. Happy Mother's Day to all of the mom's out there!

[dancing owl]

hello, i have been in reunion for many years and somehow this dilemma never gets easier. i have contact with my ma and we talk but to say oh happy mothers day thank you for raising me and blah blah blah...Hallmark hasnt perfected this one yet. What i do is get blank notecards and just write a brief something like " as mothers day approaches just wanted you to know you are in mythoughts and prayers and wish you blessings"... or something generic like that... or they have some generic one s that simply say "happy mothers day" and i just sign it "thinking of you~ love, me" sometimes i remember sometimes i forget it just depends on where we are at in our relationship that year LOL. hope that helps a litte maybe. Good Luck...