[wertygirl]

We are currently in the process of adopting a baby from Guatemala. The birthmother named the baby Elva Elizabeth after herself and her mother. I think it's a beautiful name. I know it is common to rename babies at adoption, but I have mixed feelings about our family altering the name that her mother gave her. On the other hand, it is a tradition in my family to be named after a family elder. If I had a biological daughter, my family would expect us to name her Celia after my grandmother. We have a biological son who we named after his grandfather.

I keep thinking about what she will want when she's older. Would she resent us for altering her name (maybe Celia Elva Elizabeth?), or would she feel excluded by not having the heritage of being named after a family member that she can have a relationship with like others in the family?

I don't want to ruffle any feathers, but I hope you can give me some insight. I have been struggling with this and I just want to do the right thing and help our daughter so she'll feel like she belongs and is loved. I know a name is just a small part of it, but it's the issue I have right now. Any thoughts?

[sal]

I'm an adoptee... my amother gave me a family middle name...after her mother and herself which I treasured enough to pass on to my oldest daughter. BUT.. I would have been thrilled if my amom had chosen to also keep part of my original name as well. I think that would have helped give me some validation of who I had originally been...I gave one of my birthnames to my youngest daughter as her middle name before I even thought about searching for my bmother. I think that Celia Elva Elizabeth... or just Celia Elizabeth is beautiful.. I commend you for trying to understand some of the feelings that us adoptees have... Good luck with your daughter..sal

[joskids]

We gave our adopted daughter her birthmother's name as her middle name. And added my grandmother's name as an additional middle name because my grandmother had been an adopted child. So she is Natalie Bianca Kristen. I think it's beautiful but still her birthmother sees her with the name that she gave her. In your case, I think Celia Elva Elizabeth or Celia Elizabeth or even combining the names to be "Celvia" (Sylvia) Elizabeth?
Just a thought.

Josie

[Sniffles]

I would of loved it if my parents gave me the name my b-mom did and added one they wanted to it. I did find out after I reunited with my b-grandparents, that my b-mom had named me Angela Ruth. My a-parents named me Angela Gayle. I just got so tickled that they both gave me the same first name.

[dpen6]

A combination of both names is awesome...It nicely incoporates the 2.

Like someone said...THANK YOU for even asking and caring!

[wertygirl]

Thank you so much for your input. It means a lot to me.

[whitsunday15]

I agree with the others, thanks for asking our opinions on this matter! I also think that incorporating both names is a great idea. Thank you for respecting her heritage.

[confused-in-AL]

I have friends who gave their son up at 9 months. It was an open adoption. His a parent are jewish so theychanged one of his names to follow tradtion, but the named he was called did not change. All of the ideas I have read sound wonderful. Good luck.

Confused-in-AL

[BabsCanada]

I think you're covering ALL the bases here! and doing it very well;
You are simply adding a name to her current name, one that symbolizes her joining your family.
Our dd has 3 names; one of my (our!) choosing, one that her birthmom chose, and one that honours birthmom and dh's mom, as they share the same name. Birthmom was happy with our choice.
Celia Elva Elizabeth is lovely. Initials spell CEE. Good nickname.
Congratulations!
Babs