[Lovemends2]

Hello!

It has been five years since my 2001 reunions with birth dad (decreased) and birth mom. On birth dad's side of the family is going great! On birth mom's side of family has gone sweet-to-sour, I have not heard anything from them for five years until just recently, at Christmas time, my great b-aunt finally contacted me by mail, asking to meet me. She knew about me since from the beginning of my reunion with birthmom and she patiently waited a long time to meet me (I met birth mom once but it was not really a good one)...So...I am exicted and fearful at the same time because I am fearful of birth mom. My great aunt is birth mom's aunt. I plan to see her on January 13, 2007 and I want my visit to be PERFECT, regardless of what might happen. Any ideas, anyone, for me to bring: a DVD home movie of my childhood? a lovely flower and a card? or a homemade warming gift?

[babygirlCA]

Hi Lovemends2,

Well I'm very excited for you. I'm really hoping that since you are dealing with the next generation up that you will be meeting with a wise, warm, caring and loving elder of the family. Someone whose understanding of the family can help guide you and your bmom through the slippery slope of reunion and hopefully get the reunion back on track. As for what to bring...I think everything you mentioned are very good ideas...flowers, card and something sweet and warm to snack on. I'd also say to pray and/or meditate on it and see if you are able to see what the universe tells you to take.

[Sniffles]

My grandparents loved the pics I sent them of me growing up. I am interested in knowing what others have to say because I am planning for our first f2f in the spring, but I like all three of your ideas.

[irisheyes33]

I think any piece of your past you can share with your great aunt will be a real treasure.

When I met my birth grandmother for the first time, we honestly didn't spend a lot of time with pictures though...we just talked. And talked. And talked. And shared our histories. And marveled over the family resemblances and such. The pictures came a bit later.

I don't know how it was for my birthfamily - I never really asked - but looking at pictures for me was very emotionally overwhelming, especially pictures of the times when I was alive but not in their lives. I actually had to excuse myself to go in the bathroom and cry for a bit at one point.

I think anything you bring along that is homemade - like the things you suggested - would be wonderful, and appreciated. But the greatest gift will be the two of you to each other

Best of luck!

[Lovemends2]

Thank you, everyone, for your replies! It is my wish and hope that someday I would be able to re-connect with birth family (birthmom's) again and that I have learned the hard lessons about the pros and cons of post-reunions. I had no one to advice or support me along in the beginning of my reunions in 2001. I was all alone in my reunion experience with both sides. I was so confused and exicted at that time. Thank goodness for my membership in this Adoption forums section since 2003. I have gained and learned a lot from so many good, wonderful friends here! I will keep you all updated!

[snuffie]

Ohh, how exciting! I met my birth grandmother's relatives this past summer. I was so nervous but they made me feel so at home. My husband and I had a super time just visiting. I brought along pictures of myself as a baby on up and pictures of my family. And I also brought along my adoption papers just in case but no one wanted to see them.

Have a wonderful time! and keep us posted!

Snuffie