[jenn_e_ritter]

How can you miss a family that you have never met before? I have never met my bfamily but miss them terribly. Can someone explain this to me?

[carolynppk]

Jenn,

I think it is the longing for knowing something, for a missing piece of who you are. I think, especially when we don't know who they are we build up a fantasy of who they are and what the circumstances were and what may have been. I think it is perfectly normal that you feel like you do, if you didn't there wouldn't be so many people out there searching for that "family" they never knew. I understand what you are speaking of because I have always loved my bmother without knowing who she wasWhen she deied contact in the beginnig, I was terribly upset and really missed her. I think it is the contection of something that you physically belong to, are a part of something, share something with (genes) that as an adoptee you have never shared that with. Good luck, I hope some day you find them.

Carolyn

[angel_island1622]

Jenn,
I can completely relate to your feelings. For me, I think it was growing up in a household where adoption was not discussed. I was not given permission to think about being adopted or to ask about my history. When I finally decided to search, all of these feelings flooded me. I was overwhelmed with grief, joy, sadness, longing. I have not received contact from my bmother yet, but I have so many feelings of closeness to her. I try to not get too attached, as she may not want a relationship. Nonetheless, it does not make the feeling disappear.