[Nicole28]

After posting last night I did a lot of thinking & decided that I want to move forward with my search. I have had the contact info. for a local search angel since I joined the forums in 2004 and corresponded with her via e-mail and once on the telephone for about a year. However, I never got around to sending her copies of my information, etc. I think that - subconsciously - I just was not ready to move forward. I kept her contact info. and today I took some time at work to type up a letter to her. I also wrote a letter to the agency that placed me which included updated addresses, etc. since I have not corresponded with them since 2004, either. I figured I should probably do the same thing for the NYS registry, so I typed up a letter to them with my new address etc. and plan to send that off as well.

The search angel suggested that I call the agency and speak to a social worker - ask some questions, etc. She mentioned that I may get some useful information and that sometimes things "slip out" during casual conversation. I am sure it is worth a try...but I'm too freaked out to go there yet. The letters, etc. are a step in the right direction for now.

In the letter to the agency I included contact info. but also a brief page of information - basic physical profile, info. about my a-family, etc. I figured it couldn't hurt to have that on file at the agency in case bio-family attempted to make contact and got in touch with the agency.

I also asked for documentation to verify that my case was still open through the NYS registry - I'll just feel more at ease knowing that I guess.

I even typed up address labels - now I need to get mailing envelopes and actually MAIL everything. Eeek!

I hope that these efforts actually produce results...I've basically run out of ideas at this point, you know?

Also - quick question. I've asked this before on the forums...the search angel I've spoken with said that, typically, (at least in NY) the adoption takes place in the birthmom's county of residence. I am wondering if this is actually true. I'm inquiring because, according to my non-id information, my bio-mom traveled to Syracuse just to give birth & then returned to her hometown. The angel was urging me to find out more because she thought that this was probably not the case. Anybody know?

I'll keep you updated. I really hope this works.

Nicole

[esp1222]

Nicole,

Let me know if I am digging too much into your personal business...but, how much do you know about your birth and adoption?

I was born in 1973 when things were very closed. I had no non-id information and the state had no record of my birth until my adoptive parents filed for my birth certificate when the adoption was finalized.

I found my birthmom without the help of a search angel, and I am no private eye, but I have a few other people find their birthfamily. If you are interested, send me your information ...esp1222@sbcglobal.net, and I will see if I can find out anything for you.

Erika

[esp1222]

As far as your question...you were born 10 years after me, so the laws and the way things were done changed quite a bit. Back when I was born, names were changed, dates were changed and birthmoms were told that they should never look for their children or that their children had died. I don't know where the adoption usually takes place. My bmom signed the relinquishment papers when I was born and never looked back. The adoption was final 6 months later. The laws are different in every state.

I was a lot like you at your age...always planning to search, but somehow I subconsciously put it off until later, and later was the right time...it also gave me lots of closure.

let me know if i can help. I will at least try.

Erika

[wilted rose]

Hi Nicole, sounds like this is a very big step for you! Many of us know exactly how you're feeling right now!
Rose

[cherilynn68]

WOW Nicole!
How excitingly nervewracking!!
lol

waiting for updates!

[Birth4Mom3]

Originally Posted by FH-Nicole28

the search angel I've spoken with said that, typically, (at least in NY) the adoption takes place in the birthmom's county of residence. I am wondering if this is actually true. I'm inquiring because, according to my non-id information, my bio-mom traveled to Syracuse just to give birth & then returned to her hometown. The angel was urging me to find out more because she thought that this was probably not the case. Anybody know?

It definitely CAN be the case. My Dh's Bmom lived near Buffalo, was in an unwed mothers home in Syracuse, gave birth in Auburn, and the adoption was finalized in Syracuse - 3 different counties total!! It can definitely happen.

[healingfeeling]

Nicole...

I'm happy for you that you're moving forward with this.

I thought maybe you mentioned that you were adopted in MA...if that is the case, let me know and I'll put you in touch with my search angel.

I'm so glad that you are sooooo supported here by us....it will help you in your search.

[Caiden]

Nicole



Good luck on your search. You will know when the time is right for you. In regards to your question, it is not usually the county, but the state of residence for the birthmother that the adoption occurs. The state receives funding for adoptions that occur within the state, unless they are private adoptions. I was able to locate my biological parents without the help of a search angel, or professional searcher. If there is anything I can do, please feel free to send me a private message, or e-mail.



Caiden

[whitsunday15]

Good luck Nicole! I am so happy to hear that you are taking this step!

[louise1956]

how do i find myself a search angel? im new at this and will need all the help i can get...i cant afford those expensive searchers. does that mean im doomed from the get-go?

[Nicole28]

I would post on the forum for the state in which you were born and adopted and ask if anyone knows a search angel or can help you find one. That's my best advice!

[louise1956]

excellent idea, ill try that

[babymissinmom76]

I have posted a few times on here not in this topic but in other ones on here. I'm 29 i have been looking for along time for my birth mother to find out alot of stuff to my background history in the medical field. I have been in a care center for nearly 4 years now due to some major health issues. But i can't afford anything not even the money to hire a lawyer on this. Since i live in the state of Missouri and all adoption cases a sealed i don't know alot of information as of last week i hardly knew anything but i had stubble across something on a different site well adoption.com and i was looking by years and i ran across one that really caught my eye and i read it to my adoptive mom (who is my life and whole world and my best friend) and we then got off the phone and like ten minutes later called back and said that's you you found yourself but it didn't have any contact info on there nor her name so but i do now know alot more then i did last week.
I would really like to find someone who can help me out also. But Nicole i hope that your ready and like many others have said there can be more then just one county in the adoption case as there was to mine. I was born in Boone county, the adoption took place in Audrian county and was handed off to Shelby county DFS so i had to make some phone calls and all but i didn't get very far that's why i turned to this to see if someone could help me out. Like i said i live in a care center at the age of 29 i don't have the money to hire anyone.... Thanx if anyone could help me on this.

good luck Nicole
Loree

[Nicole28]

Just an update - I mailed the copies of my info. this past Saturday and got an email from my angel this morning. She has some suggestions and said my information looks "workable."

Now we wait!

[cherilynn68]

Hey Nicole!
Any news?

HUGS!