[Piperdanai]

Lately, I've been pondering the question of whether or not to seek my bfather. When my bmom found me 2 years ago, she told me that my conception came from a forced incident that she told no one about. She didn't tell anyone she was pg with me until she was about 5 months along. When she told him (he was apparently a former boyfriend), he denied that she was pg and that the incident ever happened. She said she lost contact when her parents moved her to a school for pregnant teens and she didn't know what happened to him.

I have seen pictures of my bmom and bfather and let me tell you. . .this man can NOT deny me at all. I am the spitting image of him, but I know he's probably not looking for me, and probably doesn't even know that I exist. I guess I'd just like his side of the story. No relationship. . .I've got a father that I love dearly, but I also don't want to hurt my bmom.

Such a predicament I suppose I do have his name and high school picture. . .that is it. Anyone have thoughts??

[Nicole28]

I would urge you to seek him out. According to my non-identifying information, my bio-mom never told my biological father that she was carrying his child. He may die not knowing that he fathered a child, and that breaks my heart and also makes me angry. I am envious of your situation to a degree because if I had any kind of identifying info. on either of my bio-relations I'd run with it. I say go for it! Maybe seeing you as an adult and talking about it will change something for him, you know?

OT - love the name Pruitt! I rarely hear that name but I really like how it sounds when you say it. Also love the "gypsy mama"-style wrap.

[Piperdanai]

Part of me is scared of the reaction I could get. Guess I'll never know until I try right??

And thank you! Growing up with a "different" name, we wanted "different" names for our kids and I fell in love with the name Pruitt. DH didnt care for it too much, but it grew on him and now we have our litte Pru Pru And thanks for the remark on my wrap. I adore it. . .it's one of two I own and one of 11 baby carriers I own LOL Did you know that there's actually a brand of wraps called Gypsy Mama??? Just a little bit of info for you LOL

[esp1222]

Piper,

I have struggled with that same question for the past 7 years. My bmom didn't know for sure who my father was, but after seeing pictures of me, she decided it was obvious which man it was. He has no idea I exist.
I have been in contact with his sister-in-law and found out lots of information about my family history. It helped and gave me lots of closure, but I still wonder if I should seek him out.

"Hey, guess what? You have a 32 year old daughter!"

Some men would want to know, others would not. My dad has told me over and over again that I should, but I don't want to disrupt his life. It is a difficult decision, but I understand your reasons either way! You don't have to decided right away. I still haven't for sure, but I have written many letters!

erika

[Piperdanai]

If I seek and find him, I honestly don't expect it to be a happy ending story. But I wonder, do I even tell my bmom? Or do I just do it and keep that info to myself? As days go on this eats at me more and more.

Like you said, I still have time to decide, but I found out just about an hour ago (while looking at the registry on this site) that he was 4 years older than her and I never knew that. That makes him only 2 years younger than my amom and adad! Wild. . .

[Nicole28]

Piper, how did you find your bio-mom & get info. on your bio-dad?

I would do what feels right...if you aren't comfy sharing your search for your bio-dad with your b-mom, then don't. This is for you, you know?

Yes - I did know about the Gypsy Mama brand of wraps. I like that whole concept.

[Piperdanai]

I was contacted by a volunteer that searches for bfamilies over the internet. My bmom had NO info for me but state, bday and hospital. The volunteer found me in 48 hours!! When we did make contact (my bmom and I) she gave me info on my bdad (picture and name).

I LOVE that you LOVE the whole concept of babywearing!! When you have children. . .WOOHOO!! I'm going to pm you a question too. . .on adoption. . .not babywearing ROTFLOL