[Sniffles]

OK, I am going to give the short version of my search so some of the new people can understand where I am coming from.

I found out my b-mom's name last June and thanks to wonderful search angels I was given her married name, current address, and phone number. When I started my search 14 years ago I did not want to contact her at all. I was very afraid of rejection. After I got all of her information I started thinking. I did a lot of praying and soul searching and realized I needed to at least try to contact her. I was not expecting this wonderful reunion and I still feel that way. I wrote the first letter in July and got no response. I waited until September until I sent another one. This time though I sent the letter certified. I recieved the letter back unsigned. I tried one more time at Christmas, I just sent her a Christmas card with my information on it. I do want to say that a friend of mine on a yahoo group did try to e-mail her at an address we found for her and she got no response. I also had 2 other so called search angels try to call her, one without my permission, and I never heard from them again.

Now to today. I promised myself I would not try to contact her again until I moved, which was in Febuary. I think I am doing pretty good because I still have not tried to write her. I do not think I am ready to just yet. I was finally able to get internet service the other day, so I was going back to some of the registries I posted on and changing my e-mail address. I lost my paper with all of my passwords on it so this has not been an easy task. On one of the registries all I had to do was e-mail the site owner to change the info. Well he did and sent it to all of his search angels. I got an e-mail last night that was quite interesting.

The search angel sent the first e-mail to me with all of the information that I already had. The second one she sent, just floored me when I read it. She told me that she went ahead and contacted my b-mom's father. The stepmother answered the phone and the search angel asked her if they new anyone who had given a child up for adoption in 1973. The stepmom told her yes, that her stepdaughter was the one who did. The angel then asked her if the stepmom could call my b-mom and see if she is open to contact.I was in so much shock. At least now I now I was not so much of a secret on my b-mom's dad's side of the family.

This morning I recieved 2 more e-mails from the angel. The first one was more of the same info that I already had. The second one was telling me that she has not heard back from the step-mom, but she gave me thier phone number and told my what state they were living in now. She also told me that she told the stepmom my name was Amy. I really did not like that part one bit. I do not want to lie to these people. I can kind of understand why the angel did it though. She acted on her own and she was probably trying to protect my identity as well.

Now the question is, what do I do? I am stil currently in the getting settled stage of moving, which means I have no phone right now. I do want to contact the stepmom, because it seems to me that she is a little open to contact. Also do I e-mail the search angel back and tell her that I have already tried to contact my b-mom twice with no luck? If anyone has any suggestions, please let me know.

[Nicole28]

I would try writing a letter to her & going from there. If she seems somewhat open to contact, why not?

[Ians mom]

Angela

I am so sorry you are going through this. I hate to say it but it sounds like you have tried letters, cards, and calling without response then maybe she just isn't ready for contact with you.

I would contact the angel and let them know what you have already done and ask them for a suggestion as they deal with many cases and may be able to offer advise. I think I would back off and accept that this could remain a closed adoption forever....I hope and pray that your birth mom will change her mind and be open to meeting you at some point, but it doesn't sound like right now is the right time for her.

Again, I am so very sorry that you are going through this.

[Montraviatommyg]

As you're getting ready to move tell the serch angel if you haven't already done so. A letter to step-mother of your bmother might be worth a go as well.

Pip

[Sniffles]

PLEASE SEE THREAD: i FINALLY HAVE CONTACT

[Montraviatommyg]

Sniffles very happy for you and look forward to more updates, Pip

[Ians mom]

YEAH!!! I am so glad that you have made contact!!!

I have never been so happy to be wrong!

Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!