[Nicole28]

I'm curious - what factors have motivated you to search? If you aren't interested in searching, why not?

[Umbilical child]

I searched..and..found many years ago..and am now searching again but this time for meaning and identity. As for motivation, well it is something deep and of the being...core stuff, a bit like that primal axe wound...too hard to define. The search for self and the mid life identity crisis I find myself in at the moment can't be cured by a change in wardrobe, a flashy motor car, oggling young starlets or any other mindless things most guys find themselves imagining will help.....my search is of the flesh, blood and bones that make up my physical self, the soul intrinsic mannerisms, that hum quietly away but are historical and the nature nurture battle that encompases me.....YES I am lucky, I found. But what I found was a list of far more complex questions and thoughts. A perpetual roundabout that bursts through the surface from time to time but this time with a mature, other side of the fence, being a father perspective.....the search continues on and on and on until I guess my warped mind can make sense of things........wow that just all fell out and dribbled onto the page...........J

[carolynppk]

I searched to get medical information and record information. I also wanted my bmom to know she did the right thing. She was 16 when she had me and I always thought she may wonder if she did the right thing and if I were okay. I wanted her to know she did the right thing, I have a wonderful family and I have never had any feelings of abandonment or anger towards her. If anything developed past that it was icing on the cake. I have been blessed to find a wonderful woman who is a part of my life. I could not ask for more.


Carolyn

[cherilynn68]

I was searching mostly for my sisters. I'm told we 4 look very similiar. that intrigues me.
I, too, wanted to tell Dorothy she made the right choice.

now, however; i'm not searching. A "truth" I assumed all my life was proven false this past week. She does NOT know who adopted me. She does not have anyway to find me - unless she learns of the Adoption Registry the state has.

[Nicole28]

Cherilynn -

It is interesting to me that if you are no longer searching, why have you kept the names of your birthmom & bio-sisters in your signature? Does some part of you still hope for the possibility of a reunion?

[JoEvans]

My answer to your poll would be: OTHER:

I am searching for my son. I have already reunited with my two girls and I am hoping and praying that I can locate my son and reunite before I die. (hey, I am not getting younger) My life time dream would be to have a recent pic, and not one that I had to cut and paste, but to have a recent pic of my girls, my son and I together. I would love my daughters and son to reunite and see each other once again. My oldest daughter was too young to remember her brother. However, she does remember her younger sister. In matter of fact, they talk to each other on occasion.

I don't want to get my hopes up, but if it is meant to be, I guess it will happen, eventually.

[cherilynn68]

Originally Posted by FH-Nicole28

Cherilynn -

It is interesting to me that if you are no longer searching, why have you kept the names of your birthmom & bio-sisters in your signature? Does some part of you still hope for the possibility of a reunion?

of course hahaha
i'll always have hope that she has told - or will tell - the truth to my sisters and they will be internet literate enough to stumble on this fabulous website and find me.
too much to hope for, i'm sure. but there it is.

[Nicole28]

It's never "too much to hope for." I know sometimes it feels like it but...you never know.

I'm on a "thinking positive" kick today.

Nicole

[Nik8210]

I guess i just wanted to know if my bmom was ok and what she looked like.

I have lives mostly alone since i was 18 and my afamily and i have a strained and distant reationship.

This is not my bmom issue and i dont want her to feel resposible for it.

I am aware that i have a very negative attitute to family in general so dont anyone take offence please

NIK

[ga baby]

I never thought about searching till I lost both my adoptive parents to cancer when I was in my early 20's. I am an only child and I feel that I am emotionally and mentally prepared to search and find any member of my birth family now. I 'see-saw' back and forth sometimes between: it doesn't matter if I find them or not to I really do want to find them. I am in the middle of a search right now with Georgia Adoption Reunion Registry. Hopefully, I'll be posting some good news here soon!

[hb_helton_morris]

I guess for me I am still trying to find my reason for searching. I guess deep down I want to find them and I want to have something that is really mine. I had a very great afamily. But I always tried to keep myself distanced and always pushed away. I just felt like I didn't quite belong. So I guess I am looking for a place I belong. When what I tell myself everytime I run into another dead end is oh well it doesn't matter I am just doing this to have something to do with my time. I know in my heart very differently but I am still just trying to convince myself otherwise.

[Nicole28]

hb - I think what we need to remember (as adoptees) is the importance of becoming a whole person regardless of whether or not we are in reunion or find our biological families, you know? Easier said than done - I'm sure of that - but finding a place where you belong and where you feel comfortable and content is important, because (and I don't like to think about this, either) you may not find what you are looking for.

Thanks for posting -

Nicole

[JenMcHall]

I cannot pick just one answer on the poll. I have been at every stage of the poll except the "I am not searching, and don't think I will".

Earlier in my life, I was at the "curious" stage, but wanted no relationship, then I only wanted medical information. For awhile, I really didn't think about it too much, but I knew that I would search someday. Then 3 years ago I decided it was time. I wanted to find out everything. I wanted a relationship with my birthmom and to meet other members of my birthfamily. Of course, by the time I was able to get that information, my birthmother had died. Fortunately, I do have contact with my birthaunt and half-brother.

I think other adoptees probably go through different stages just as I did. I just depends on where they are in their psyche right now.

[wilted rose]

Hey Nicole, I didn't reply to this right away, because I'm in reunion. Then I thought I would respond with my first thoughts regarding searching. I received non identifying info from a social worker when I was sixteen per my request. With her urging I decided I was not at an emotional place where I could cope with looking at that time. Most days I'm at peace with my decision, as I didn't actively search until I was nearly forty. Then it took me five days nearly around the clock but I was reunited with bmother and five bsiblings. Honestly it has been the most painful, yet most rewarding experience of my life. For me it was all about the timing. I see now I couldn't have possibly had the same experience and developed the same relationships and bonds had I sought this out in my twenties or even thirties. Just my thoughts on this...
Rose

[mamottawa]

I wished i could have voted for " three of the above", because my reasons for searching are sort of complex, but i assume it is generally the case for many adoptees?

I am at the same time curious to see what my birthmom is like, to have access to my birth and medical records, and develop a friendship relationship ( as opposed to family-type relationship)