[bmwsar]

Is anyone else frustrated with celebrities and their new fascination with adopting kids? It seems like being adopted is going to be the next craze. Those people make me want to bang my head against the wall.

Don't get me wrong, i am happy that kids are being adopted but what happened to people being modest about it and not making it the next hot craze. I don't want to among the ranks of Paris Hilton’s dog trend...yikes. What do you all think??

[usedtobe]

I think the horse is out of the barn; or in our case, the pup has been freed from the pound. Only those children being adopted NOW will be able to tell The True (Hollywood) Story. Kinda like us Closed Editions. A day late, a dollar short of a full-life.

It's unfortunate when Life, itself, becomes a study in simple economics: Supply and Demand. I wonder if it's a highly publicized trend exclusive to America? I imagine it is, given our <ahem> dedication to Humanitarian Efforts...

But who am I? Just another foundling found in a foreign land...

[ripples]

I can understand how annoying it is for our very emotionally complex journeys to be glamourized as a celebrity fad.

What makes me cringe is the whole 'charity case' side of adoption that is being magnified. I so hated it when my adoptive parents would pound their chests about them 'rescuing' me. I also don't like the glossing over of the complexities - the celebs make it look so easy. I also shudder to think that their kids' right to privacy about their adoptions is being blown way open to the public without their consent.

Hopefully at some point the celebs will actually open up honest dialogue about the complexities of adoption, rather than run their victory lap with their newfound media-grabbing trophies.

[debbys]

"Celebrities" have always adopted children. They deserve to have families, too. It's the media that is the problem.

[heartened]

I agree, adoption (especially international) is becoming a Hollywood fad - it is guarenteed to generate publicity for the individual/couple in Hollywood who chooses adoption.

I wish this were doing us good, I wish it was causing focus to be brought on adoption - instead, the focus is on outrageous comments the celebs (or their rivals) make about the adoptions.

Very little attention is being paid to just how hard it really is to adopt a child, but almost NO attention is being paid to what it is like to surrender a child OR to what it is like to actually BE an adoptee.

I mean, when was the last time you saw a celeb either a) admitting to being a birth mother/father or b) asking the media to focus on the pain and suffering a birth parent often faces?

Nope, most of the time it's all about "look at my cute 'china doll' I adopted," which is about as offensive as it gets.

Where are the celebs pushing for adoption reform? Where are the celebs discussing the Hague? Where are the celebs (aside from DMC - way to go, Darryll!) talking about what it is like to BE an adoptee?

The answer: nowhere to be found.

[scarlet52698]

What makes me cringe is the whole 'charity case' side of adoption that is being magnified. I so hated it when my adoptive parents would pound their chests about them 'rescuing' me.

This gets to me too.

[bmwsar]

Yeah I didn't think i was alone with that feeling. debbys, I know that celebrities have been adopting, and there is nothing wrong with that. I am addressing the way they go about it. I would hate to be that kid who looks back and see that mommy and daddy adopted me for a career move (which is harsh to say, but you know some do that while others truely care.)
I just wanted to know how others felt. To me, being an adoptee, it just seems almost like an insult with how it's all being portrayed.. that's my two sense.

[darkknight]

Like this article about Jessica Simpson.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/12064088/

If you read the article she makes the following comment:

“I want to adopt, and I plan to adopt before I have my own kids,” the pop star recently told TV’s “Extra.”

Her OWN kids? If she adopts, wouldn't the child be HER kid. This is a strong sign that she doesn't have a clue. Like she's talking about getting a pet or something. Hopefully for the child she will figure it out before it's finalized.

[whitsunday15]

I agree with debbys. Celebrities have their faces splashed all over if they are pregnant as well. If a celebrity has a child whether they bare a child or adopt a child, the media is all over it. The problem lies with the media. There are celebs like Michelle Pfieffer who has 2 adopted kids, and Jodie Foster who adopted a child, but who ever talks about their kids? It seems that it's just high profile celebs like Angelina Jolie and now Jessica Simpson (who I think is an idiot), and they are only high profile because the public buys the crap that splashes their faces everywhere.

If it raises the awareness that there are plenty of children that need to be adopted and loved and cared for, then that is a good thing. Where would we all be if this process didn't exist? None of us know how Angelina is raising her 2 adopted kids in private--what she is telling them, how she adresses their adoption, etc. That is what is most important.

that's my 2 cents at least.

[usedtobe]

Originally Posted by darkknight

If she adopts, wouldn't the child be HER kid. This is a strong sign that she doesn't have a clue. Like she's talking about getting a pet or something. Hopefully for the child she will figure it out before it's finalized.

And yet, there are staunch adoption advocates & support systems that will readily admonish the terrible message sent by the adoptee who feels "less worthy or not as good as The Normal Kid." Or shout the voice of outrage that it is horribly insensitive and offensive to hear or be told an adoptee can associate the adoption experience to that of a family finding a cute puppy for sale in a pet-store or pound. Hm. I wonder WHY such associations can be made by an adoptee... ...and why an adoptee with these opinions gets so easily frustrated when no one wants to Listen to the True (Hollywood) Story-Book Version of Reality TV. An adoptee's experience and perspective is as REAL as it gets.

The Rich and Famous have one advantage: unlimited access to the world of elite specialized shopping with all it's perks and privledges. After all, money is of no consequence. BTW, did you know how much it costs to buy a child these days? I read on a site found through this forum, adopting.org, (or one of those other adoption links listed below...), the most a person will have to pay for a child is around $30,000. My car is more expensive than that! And I'm trading it in because after 4 years, it's not what I want or need in a car. But then, some cars invite trade-incentives. At least the more desirable cars do.

So while it's rude to equate a person's value to an actual dollar amount, that's precisely what takes place in the Business of Baby Selling. A trade has to be made in order for adoption to exist. There is nothing glitzy or glamourous about a child having to trade Wholeness for a house. So while there are those unbelievably compassionate, loving individuals who adopt for the Good it was intended to offer, I believe these are the exception to the every-day rule of adoption that has existed since it's (yes, I will say it...) conception.

In truth, I cannot even begin to fathom such love actually existing, but from what I read & see, there ARE grown-ups who search for the specific child who NEEDS the unconditional love & support only a parent can give a child. I don't mean the couple who adopts because they want to love a baby, and give that baby a warm bottle and a safe place to sleep... I mean those unbelievable selfless people who bring children of all races, ethnicities, abilities, disabilities, and ages into their lives, families and homes and eagerly provide a life of pure love & goodness that would never have been possible, otherwise. I cannot help but believe these are the miracles of adoption. Unfortunately, miracles are difficult to find these days... But what do I know? I'm a jaded, angry, jealous adoptee who was purchased by a person who "Saved and spared (me) from a wretched life of mental retardation and orphaned child labor-camps". True, the few pictures taken depict a very loving mommy doting on her little girl, but the behind the scenes truth tells a different story. That woman holding the little girl in the pink dress was always available for the photo-op, but never the task of Real Parenting. The woman in those pictures isn't a girl's mommy. She has always been, and remains, a shrew. A fact all facets of society need to know about Adoption: there are shrews buying babies for their own self-serving glory. Something must be done to STOP these people, before more Me's plague the world, and its future generations.

Finally, to debbys comment: "'Celebrities' have always adopted children. They deserve to have families, too. It's the media that is the problem."

The media feeds the hunger of the masses. Supply and Demand. Media is a business, just like, uh... adoption is for many agencies, lawyers, and countries. Adoption, for the Good it was intended does not require any media attention. It is a Calling that is felt by an individual. It is THAT person who SHOULD be more deserving of a family than someone who wants the media to advertise a great business deal that just recently took place. (Film at 11...)

[spaypets]

You know we get all upset when people question our motives for adopting, I think it's shameful to decide without one shred of evidence that the celebrities are adopting for anything other than a desire to be a parent. Would you say something equally snarky about the celebs who have done numerous rounds of IVF? Or who have public pregnancies?

I, for one, do not find it surprising at all that most have declined to advocate for various aspects of adoption --after all these are deeply personal decisions plus there is the privacy of their children to consider (paparazzi's telephoto lenses not withstanding).

But several of them do advocate for humanitarian causes. Angelina Jolie is active in United Nations children's issues and is active in trying to improve life for the people of Cambodia, Meg Ryan was in India working to improve the lot of women (which in and of itself will reduce the number of children abandoned to orphanages) just before she went to China to adopt her daughter.

I am sure that there are lousy parents among celebrities, just as I'm sure that in all walks of life there are lousy parents. But to assume someone is bringing a child into their home as some sort of accessory, without any evidence to back that up, is revolting. For shame.

Quite honestly there are easier ways to look beneficient--without all the intrusive paperwork. While there will always be dingbats who talk about adopting a lot kids without any real appreciation of what that entails, anyone who has gone through the process isn't doing it lightly.

[JPDakota]

Ah, Spaypets, the voice of reason.
Usedtobe -
But what do I know? I'm a jaded, angry, jealous adoptee who was purchased by a person who "Saved and spared (me) from a wretched life of mental retardation and orphaned child labor-camps". Your truth is not every adoptee's truth, thank God.

[darkknight]

Originally Posted by spaypets

While there will always be dingbats who talk about adopting a lot kids without any real appreciation of what that entails, anyone who has gone through the process isn't doing it lightly.

Actually, I have to disagree with this general statement. While my own parents where pretty good and did think about it long and hard, I have met quite a few adoptive parents and even more adoptees whose parents hadn't seem to give a thought to the child, just the opposite. There are people who adopt mearly to have the appearance of family. Or those who adopt to fix something like the husband and wife who wanted to adopt a child to replace the one they lost, going so far to as to leave the room the same and name the adoptive child the same. (granted in that case the agency stopped it.)

Thankfully, there are a lot of adoptive parents who do seem to have a clue, and more so now as info on the possibilities and the problems that could exist become readily available.

I just wish the Jessica Simpsons of the world would read up on some of the stuff before they start opening their mouths.

[scarlet52698]

I just wish the Jessica Simpsons of the world would read up on some of the stuff before they start opening their mouths.

I agree DK.

[SarahandSam]

"Celebrities" have always adopted children. They deserve to have families, too. It's the media that is the problem.

I thought adoption was supposed to be about the child. It shouldn't have anything to do about anyone "deserving" a family. Adoption is supposed to be about finding families for needy children, not finding children for people who think they deserve them.

I think these celebrity international adoptions are horrid. If they really wanted to help the children, they should have left them with their own people, made an effort to find parents for them in their own lands and pumped their hollywood made money into community to better their lives. Zahara's (Jolie's adaugh) mother died supposedly but her grandmother wanted to keep and raise Z. Why didn't Jolie just give Zahara's family the money to raise her instead of taking her for her own? That would have been the real charitable thing to do. I can't imagine losing your daughter and granddaughter like that all at once. Poor woman !!

Have any of these people ever talked to an international adoptee ?

Another really disturbing trend for these hollywood types is buying eggs from young women and hiring another women to carry their husband's children so that they may call them their own Can you imagne your genetic mum being an egg donor and your natural mum a surrogate ? Talk about confusion !! You think us adoptees whose natural mums actually birthed us have it bad, these children made in this way will grown up very confused.

I was born out of a surrogacy in where my mum was inseminated with my dad's sperm and then signed me over to amum to raise. I have had deep feelings of depression, rejection and confusion over the whole thing for as long as I can remember. I can't imagine tossing a donor in the mix !!