[UK Trace]

I found out tonight that my birth brother died. He was 50...he was raised for the first 7 yrs of his life with our birth mother...he spent many months in hospital due to neglect after she dump him back with his birth father...my birth mother went on to have 2 more children...myself and another brother...we were adopted together...I met my birth brother ..but alas we drifted apart...I found out tonight that he died in his sleep...he had such a terrible terrible life....even though I wasn't raised with him or spend much time with him...his death has a strange haunting feel to it....its to surreal to describe....almost like a strange feeling of a life that could have been lived in another dimension...if that makes sense...anyways this is the only place I felt some might understand...

[Montraviatommyg]

At times like this it is hard to find the right words to say ... my condolances though.

Pip

[Jackiejdajda]

UK trace..

My deepest sympathy.. Thank you for telling us about your birthbrother.. I know there are times when adoption is a good thing..

This must be very difficult for you..

Jackie

[aura]

My deepest sympathy to you. Thank you so much for sharing with us! You are in my prayers!

[ripples]

UK Trace,
My heart goes out to you at the loss of your birth brother and hearing about his terrible life. Losing a birth family member, no matter how long you've 'known' them, really can be a surreal experience. There are several posts in the "Grieving the Death of a Birth Family Member" forum of this site that reflect the surrealness of similar experiences. May you find space to grieve your birth brother's loss.

[heartened]

UK trace, please accept my condolances. I hear what you're saying about the surreal quality of this. I know that somewhere out there, I have 5 or 6 older siblings - every so often I imagine there is a dimension or reality where we were raised together. Or I consider the fact that I have no way of knowing if, in this reality, one or more of them have died. It's so strange to imagine that these siblings have had significant experiences of which I know nothing.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you are taking whatever time you need in order to grieve, and I hope you know that you are entitled to grieve. My thoughts are with you.

[tricia3]

Originally Posted by UK Trace

he had such a terrible terrible life....even though I wasn't raised with him or spend much time with him...his death has a strange haunting feel to it....its to surreal to describe....almost like a strange feeling of a life that could have been lived in another dimension...if that makes sense...anyways this is the only place I felt some might understand...

First let me say I'm sorry for your loss.

I lost my bio-brother in October 2005 to suicide, and know much of what you're feeling.
I hadn't spent much time with him...only several days here and there, and was quite surprised how much his death affected me.
Since our meeting in 2001, he and I had an immediate bond, since we both were relinquished (he 3 years before me). We totally understood each other, and how each felt. I lost the only person related to me that knew just how I felt, and what it was like growing up in an adopted family, and what it was like to be given "the boot" by our own flesh and blood.
There is a huge whole in my heart, and so much anger that he let life "get the better of him". He checked out and left me here w/out him and I just can't get over it.
So I understand and I'm here if you need to talk.