[spitzlvr]

I guess I just need to vent.

My inlaws visited for a week. Very stressful. Not only because of me (I can just ignore them) but the way they treat my ds. The rules in their home are different then in my home. They are not the disaplinarians (sp) of my child, that is my job. When they were getting ready to leave I asked ds if he wanted to go in the room MIL is in - he answered "no - she yells at me". It broke my heart. Luckily, dh wasn't there.

I am 16 weeks pregnant. I should be happy but I worry, worry, worry. I miscarried back in Feb, and am afraid of it happening again.

Our beautiful, loving, sweet dog of 15 years left us Friday. It hurts so bad. At the end, so much of my time was about caring for her - morning and evening routines. Now, nothing. I miss her terribly. I forget in the morning, when I first get home from work. That makes it worse.

My son (3 1/2) is sad about Fluffy too. He cries, I cry. I just had my vet (a good friend) see 2 beanie baby dogs because 'they were sick and were gonna die'. They got shots, and band-aids, everything. They gave ds treats and toys for our other dogs. They knew how tough he was finding everything.

Now, tomorrow I am supossed to go (from Thursday - Monday) 3 hours from home and meet my bDad for the first time. Sunday is a big family reunion. I want to meet my bDad, but 5 days up there, not at home....

I just want to forget about everything, crawl under the covers and not come out.

The night we lost Fluffly, all I wanted was to curl up in dh's arms. My ds was distraught. His needs are paramount. So I spent that night on the aerobed in the living room, having a 'campout'. I held him while he cried and tried to understand.

[Duchie]

spitzlvr -

It sounds like there's alot going on in your life right now.

Losing a pet is very hard. We lost our beloved pekingese last year and it still overwhelms me at times. There's a place called "Over the bridge" which is a site where you can do a memorial for your pet. It might help your son knowing that he can help you do a memorial of your pet and tell others of how wonderful they were and how much they meant to him.

As far as the in-laws.... Just keep reminding yourself that they DO go home - lol. I have to do the same thing. It's sad that your son will only remember their grandparents as "the ones who yell".

About meeting your bfather. How exciting!!!! I know it's nerve racking and you feel like you are on a constant rollercoaster with emotions, but just take it one step at a time. I've been reunited with my bmom and siblings for almost 5 years now and it's never a dull moment - lol. Have a great time!!!!

And congratulations on your expecting a little one soon. Just remember to take it easy. I know that it's hard to do, but try not to stress too much.

I hope things calm down for you and you can finally breathe and relax a little.

Take care....

Duchie

[texasadoptee]

WOW! So many monumental things happening at once. You are one strong woman!!


I'm sorry about Fluffy. (hugs) That's a great loss.

How exciting you'll be meeting your dad though. And right before your next baby. He'll get to experience the birth of your next child with you. That will be sweet.

Congrats on the pg. I'm sure everything will be ok this time. I too had an m/c and went on to have 2 kids right afterward. Both are healthy and I had no issues.

Best of luck, Dear.

[coco46]

((((Spitz))))

Why does it always seem like everything has to happen at once?

I'm so sorry about your dear Fluffy. I just wanted you to know I was thinking of you.

[anifish]

Sending you warm hugs and lots of wishes for a wonderful week. We are getting ready to say goodbye to our dog of 14 years and I feel so bad for you. My ds has had him his whole life we will be so hurt. I hope you will be feeling better soon, and things clear up and you will be able to move on. I also want to send some prayers to help you stay healthy and have a beautiful healthy baby to add to your family. hugs andi

[spaypets]

Oh Spitzlvr, I know how hard it is to lose a dog. We put our beloved friend down (our first born!) the day after Thanksgiving. We were all in the room and I sobbed. DD was just 3, and she didn't really understand, which was good in a way, but meant we spent weeks (!) saying things like "Doggie is dead, he's not coming back" and "No sweetie, he's not at the vet. He's dead. He isn't anywhere." Compounding the whole thing is we're Jewish, so we don't even have the concept of heaven to try to explain how something can cease being.

I have never cried as intensely and as hard as I have when I've lost my beloved dogs.

As for your inlaws, my only suggestion is to say something to DH--maybe he can suggest that they should concentrate on being grandparents instead of disciplinarians.

[spitzlvr]

Spay,

I am Catholic, but I am not devout. However, I found the real meaning of my religon when we lost Fluffy - to help a little boy understand she is not gone, she is in Heaven. it made it easier for both of us. (Ignore that my religon says dogs don't go to heaven - what do they know!)

We are back from meeting my bDad. I am thinking of starting a thread about the visit - I don't care for him - he gives me the heebie-jeebies.

It was a long weekend.

[Casey677]

Spitz,

So sorry that so many things happened at once! ((((((hugs)))))))) Losing a beloved pet is so very hard. You have been in my thoughts.

I was really hoping that meeting your bdad went well...... I guess it turned out otherwise..... I'm sorry.

Casey

[tricia3]

Who says dogs don't go to Heaven....didn't they see the movie?
I just lost my beloved "Sarg" on 8/11 and you would have thought one of my children had died. He was almost 16 and we had rescued him from an abusive owner when he was 1. I just went to pick up his ashes(we had him cremated) and my children and I are planning a memorial service this evening. We will scatter his ashes over our farm.

I don't care for him-he gives me the heebie-jeebies.

Oh I hear ya sister!!!!!
I'm in the same boat.....Now I must find the words to tell him that I do not wish to continue contact.
Good luck and Happy Pregnancy

[mj77]

Aww, I'm so sorry. I know our faith teaches that heaven is a place for people, but God did put our pets on this earth for our enjoyment (my belief). I am convinced there are animals in heaven. Why would the bible talk of the lion laying with the lamb or Christ coming on the white horse in Rev.? I think if pets matter to us, then our pets matter to God. I wouldn't have any problem with telling my son that I believe our pet went to heaven. If I'm wrong when we get there, I'm sure we'll be just happy being in the presence of God that it wouldn't matter anyway. (((hugs))) I've been there and know it hurts. You take your time to grieve. It is completely justifiable.

Take care,
Melissa

[snuffie]

I KNOW there are dogs in Heaven otherwise it wouldn't be a heaven to me! I got into an argument with a priest about it one time.
Aw, Spitz I too know how devastating it is to lose a furry child. My beloved Schnauzer left us after 12 years and I cried my eyes out for a long time. Just take all of the time you need to grieve.
I am so happy for you about the upcoming baby!
I just had my first grandchild about a week ago and there is nothing like a baby!
As for bdad, was it just cuz everyone was nervous maybe or is it a good thing that he doesn't live closer? What a huge disappointment!
In-laws can be soo annoying and it's even worse that because they are in-laws it is more difficult to say something to them. Maybe they will see that the disciplining they are doing with your son is pushing him away and stop all on their own.

Please take care of yourself!
Best wishes
Snuffie

[spitzlvr]

Snuffie,

I don't think it had to do with all the people. I am glad my bDad lives 3000 miles away from me. I will have no problem with email contact, I just have no need/desire to see him again. Of course this means I won't get to see his son, which sucks, but I guess that is the way it goes.

I want to post all about this meeting, but right now I don't even know what to type. I wich you guys were sitting in front of me, helping me work this out. It is very frustating.

As for my in-laws, they live 1000 miles away, and only visit once a year. They will probably come when the baby is born - I will let them help with the new baby, but i will probably try to limit their interaction with ds. I am happy they are so far away (so is dh).

My parents are coming out Labor Day weekend. Everyone is looking forward to that - and we can leave ds with them and go out, without worrying!


As for the Fluff, I know she is in Heaven. I just wish she could have stuck around here longer. It saddens me that for all the grief ds is going thru, when he gets older I don't think he will remember her (he is 3). That breaks my heart - she loved him so much!

OK - I am at work, and can't type about Fluffy anymore - I am a programmer, and coding is not supossed to make me cry