[bgoldham]

Any advice for the new guy? I'm 41 and was adopted at birth. I grew up very happy and hold no ill will towards anyone. I don't know what to expect, but I hope it is good. My main concern now is to find family history for medical reasons, but I am hoping for more. If my bmom is found, I don't know how to write the first letter.

[scarlet52698]

Welcome to the boards. Do you know what state you were born in? There are some great search resources listed by state and some helpful threads on how to handle first contact.

I found my bparents when I was 27, it was an amazing experience and I wish you the best

[MKW]

Start with the agency that handled your adoption and see what services they offer - and the price. They may be willing to take care of a couple things for you. They should be able to provide you with, what we call, non-identifying information. It's practically everything about your birth families except their names and where they were from. The agency should also be able to do a full search for you, if that's what you want.
When you get to the part of writing the letter - come back here - we'll all help you.
BTW - I'm a 49 year old adoptee in reunion 1 year with my birthmother. It's been an amazing, wonderful experience.
The best to you. Come back anytime you want. We'll try to help!

MKW

[carolynppk]

B-

This is the place to be. Welcome! Previous poster is right, start with your agency. if you don't get a lot of info there, depending on who handled your adoption, go into the chat rooms here. Amazing people with a wealth of information. I was able to get my info on a fluke. I contacted the probabte court who handled my adoption and asked for a copy. Being born in 1965 and adoption finalized in 1966, this should have all been closed, but a new person madde a mistake and gave me all my info without blocking out indentifying info. I have been in reunion with my bmom for about three and a half months. It is a rollercoaster ride. She actaully found me here after I contacted her parents. We got to know one another by each of us writing a journal here. SO this really is a great place and miricales do happen here. Just be prepared, because it is a trip no one can ever fully explain to you. The highs are great and the lows are devastating. I thought I would search for medical reasons and thank her, if more came from it, great. I had no idea how much this would take over my life and how many feelings were there. Good luck in your search. May you have a happy ending, or beginning as I see it. You will have great support here.

SIncerely,
Carolyn

[Montraviatommyg]

Just want to wish you good luck with your search and if you're fortunate to be able to write your bmum you will get plenty of advice here. My son searched for me for 5 years but I found him a year ago (on the 8th Aug) and I have a good reunion with him.

Pip

[erschopft]

The search will stir up alot of emotions you didnt know you had, but the search is worth it. It may take a while to have the guts to contact your birth mother but even the knowledge of where you came from will be a great comfort and will enrich your life. Go for it. Almost every agency holds on to non ID information that will have your medical history and such held with the agency and/or the probate court.

p.s. - it is about time another guy came on here...