[joskimo]

When I first began exploring adoption for our family I was struck by some of the negative experiences on this board. That was not my experience, nor that of my husbands. A little earlier today I was reading a post regarding positive adoption experiences from a couple who was adopted and they have adopted as well -- which strikes me that adoption is a positive experience if adoptees are adopting. I was wondering how frequently adopted couples adopt. My dh is adopted transracially, closed at birth and I am adopted by my father. We have one daughter biologically and one daughter by adoption. We are very happy with how adoption has touched our lives.

[pez collector]

Jo- Thank you for starting this post! I am an adoptee myself. I was adopted as an infant. I was raised as an only child. I was born in the state of Kansas and I am able to obtain my original birth certificate. As of this point, I have not taken the time to do it.
It took us 5 years to get pregnant with our biological son. He is a blessing!!! We suffered secondary infertility. We are in the process of a hopeful foster/adopt situation. God Bless.

[echaos]

count me in. I was adopted and I adopted my son. My DP, while not technically adopted, was raised by her Mum and Step-dad.

[swtluvr069]

Hi I placed my daughter 2 years ago ..the mom that adopted her was also adopted as a baby. ne of the reasons I chose her was because she was adopted we talk thru e-mails snail mail and send pics back and forth..amom is scared to find her bmom though. i hope one day she will find her...

[stone]

I am adopted as well.{by my father that is}.We adopted our two daughters after a difficult childbirth with Jacob in 1995.
My mother in law,and 3 cousins are also adopted.My sister in law also plans to adopt one day.
We are a family that is truly touched by ADOPTION!

[scotologic]

I am not discounting anyone's experience of being adopted whatsoever here, but I just want to keep it clear that (for example) being adopted by your b-mother's new husband is a very different experience from being put up for adoption in infancy and being adopted in infancy. These experiences affect lives in different ways.

Since this thread is trying to discern some things about adoptees adopting, I think we should also see if there is any matching of likes with likes.

If you married someone with kids already, did you adopt them or would you if the other parent relinquished their parentakl rights? If you wee adopted in infancy, have you adoped infants? If you were adopted across borders, did you adopt across borders, and if yes did you adopt from the country from which you were adopted? If you were adopted as an older child, have you adopted an older child or taken in foster children?

[joskimo]

[quote=scotologic]I am not discounting anyone's experience of being adopted whatsoever here, but I just want to keep it clear that (for example) being adopted by your b-mother's new husband is a very different experience from being put up for adoption in infancy and being adopted in infancy. These experiences affect lives in different ways.QUOTE]

I don't think anyone is trying to say that being adopted by your parent's spouse is the same as being adopted by both parents, this thread was talking about being touched by adoption. My father, who adopted me when I was 3, was and is my father. He passed away 3 years ago and there is a hole where he once was. I have a step-father, and I have a birthfather, but my dad adopted me.

My point of the thread is that there are so many positive experiences by those of us touched by adoption, soemtimes it can be intimidating reading some of the less then positive experiences.

And there are similarities when you are adopted by your parent's spouse. My birthfather relinquished parental rights. It might not be the same, but there are similarities.

Thank you all to those who have posted so far, I think it's cool to hear how many families were started by adoption and the tradition continues.

[Liepolds]

Our family is very touched by adoption. My DB and are both adopted by our parents at birth through CSS in a closed adoption. We are not bio-sibs. We have wonderful parents and cherish them. They are truly two of the finest people I have ever know.

My DB and his wife have two biological children, a SD that my SIL brought into their marriage and a two year old adoptived child that they adopted at birth in an open adoption.

My DH and I adopted our 6 month old son at birth in a very semi-open adoption.

Adoption is very positive and wonderful part of our family. Infact, there is even quite a bit of adoption on my DH side. Cousins and friends of the family have adopted.

Adoption is truly wonderful!!

Kim

[scotologic]

[quote=joskimo]

Originally Posted by scotologic

I am not discounting anyone's experience of being adopted whatsoever here, but I just want to keep it clear that (for example) being adopted by your b-mother's new husband is a very different experience from being put up for adoption in infancy and being adopted in infancy. These experiences affect lives in different ways.QUOTE]

I don't think anyone is trying to say that being adopted by your parent's spouse is the same as being adopted by both parents, this thread was talking about being touched by adoption. My father, who adopted me when I was 3, was and is my father. He passed away 3 years ago and there is a hole where he once was. I have a step-father, and I have a birthfather, but my dad adopted me.

My point of the thread is that there are so many positive experiences by those of us touched by adoption, soemtimes it can be intimidating reading some of the less then positive experiences.

And there are similarities when you are adopted by your parent's spouse. My birthfather relinquished parental rights. It might not be the same, but there are similarities.

Thank you all to those who have posted so far, I think it's cool to hear how many families were started by adoption and the tradition continues.

I think I did not get my point across very well. I apologize. I was merely interested in seeing who had provided the same as had been provided to them. We hear so much in the news about bad patterns of behavior being passed down from generation to generation. I thought that this was a near enough match to the spirit of this thread to pose that issue here.

I did not imply that some forms of adoption "count" more than others. Not at all. I thought I had said as much in my original post. I know that when a lot of people start out with "I am not discounting anyone's experience," that they in fact are doing exactly what they are denying -- but I did not. Sorry to have bothered anyone's mind with my idle little query.

[joskimo]

okay, I get it now, for instance, who was adopted by foster care and then went on to adopt thru foster care? I didn't quite follow your train of thought -- so in our case my husband was adopted as a newborn, transracially and we've adopted a newborn transracially.

[ChitownTracy]

Adoptee's adopting is something i would love to have a forum for us to chat about, maybe in the future
I was adopted as an infant from LSS in IL.
I am CC.
My sister was adopted as an infant also from LSS (in wi) from South Korea
DH and I are adopting after a miscarriage, we would love to adopt from Korea, but don't have the funds....
So we are adopting from LSS, infant, trans-racial looking for an open adoption....
We are just at the end of our homestudy, so we still have a while to go...
I like to think of this process as "coming full circle"
not only as an adoptee who is adopting but we are working with the same agency that my mom and dad worked with 26 years ago
I am interested in reading what other situations people chime in with....
Tracy

[scotologic]

Originally Posted by joskimo

okay, I get it now, for instance, who was adopted by foster care and then went on to adopt thru foster care? I didn't quite follow your train of thought -- so in our case my husband was adopted as a newborn, transracially and we've adopted a newborn transracially.

Yes. Exactly!

We hear about the "Cycle of Abuse" or "`Alcoholism" or "Divorce" over and over again in the news. The same awful patterns repeated through families.

How wonderful to hear of a positive cycle, especially something so important to all of us here, as adoption.

You and your dh, as adoptees yourselves, will have a level of understanding for what your child goes through that you both were never afforded -- that few, if any of us were. Your dh will have the added joy of having such a specific kind of shared experience with that child.