[Loribeth78]

I am looking for some support and guidance. I am 26 years old. I was adopted when I was a little over a month old. I am much more emotional than my adoptive parents, so they don't always know how to take me, especially my questions and tears surronding adoption. My brother is 4 years older than me and also adopted, but he doesn't ever think about the issues of adoption, and he doesn't understand my thoughts, nor does he try to. Long story short, I have never really had someone in my life who I could really talk to about my thoughts concerning adoption. I always feel ungrateful and disloyal to my adoptive parents when I think abouth this, but my feelings about my birthmother have never gone away. I always wonder about what happened, who my birth mother and father are and their relationship, who I may look like. I wonder who the first person who held me after I was born. I feel such a deep sorrow that I can't really understand fully. I feel detached and alone. I have thought about searching, but never have. I am looking around for support groups in the Rhode Island/Massachusetts area but haven't been successful. I am just trying to connect with some other adoptees who may have the same thoughts.

[kperoc]

LoriBeth Welcome!

I am not near your location, so I do not know of any support groups. But, I did want to welcome you here.

This website is a WONDERFUL resource to read, learn and post your feelings about adoption and how it effects you. Many many others in all facets of the adoption triad have posted their journies here.

There is a chat room feature, you may find it helpful to have a "live chat" once in a while too.

You are not alone!

Take care.

[snuffie]

Hi Loribeth!
Welcome to the forums. You will find a lot of wonderful people here who share your feelings.
I am a reunited adoptee who was placed for adoption shortly after birth. I had wonderful aparents whom I loved with all of my heart. But through the years I, too, had many, many questions.
I didn't look like my aparents and our personalitities were much different. They were very social and I am very quiet and shy. They couldn't understand why I felt the need to have some "alone" time for myself because they loved to have people over.
I thought there was something "wrong" with me until I found my birth family. My personality is much like my birth moms and so is my appearance.

The need to find out things about ourselves is in all of us. But we adoptees have a much more difficult time because we don't know our heritage nor much about our genetics and on and on and on.
I know my abrother did not want to search (don't know if this is a "guy" thing) but I have found that some people who say they don't - deep down inside really would like answers but are afraid of what they might find or are afraid of being disloyal or hurtful to their aparents.
If you choose to search at some point, maybe telling your aparents how much you love them, how your search has nothing to do the way you feel about them - but everything to do with how you feel about YOU. There are many posts on this website by people who have worked with their aparents in their search for their bparents.
The important thing to remember is that your feelings are completely normal and shared by many, many adoptees.
Best wishes to you!
Hugs
Snuffie

[nhguy78]

Hi, I'm new here and just wanted to let you know I feel the exact same way. My brother and I were adopted. I've expressed interest in finding my ethnicity/heritage; however they got upset thinking I didn't love them anymore. That is totally untrue. It is something I need to do.

Best of luck and lots of hugs.
Michael

[Loribeth78]

Michael,
Thank you for your support. Just because you want to search doesn't mean you don't love them. It's part of wanting to know the truth. Are you searching?

[mn125]

Originally Posted by Loribeth78

I am looking around for support groups in the Rhode Island/Massachusetts area but haven't been successful.

RHODE ISLAND
RIAARC = Rhode Island Adult Adoptee Rights Coalition
http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/F...191/index.html


MASSACHUSETTS

Concerned United Birthparents (CUB )
Ashby, 978-386-7148 Email: MartyLinda@UADatanet.net
Boyslton, 508-869-6774
Cambridge 508-443-3770 Email: LibSteve@aol.com

TRY-Resource/Referral Center 413-584-6599, Email: Try@try.org
PO Box 989 Northampton 01061-0989

C.A.R.E.S., 508-772-2699
20 Blanchard St., Harvard 01451

Adoption Triad Seeking Support, 508-949-1919
10 W Hollow Ln, Webster 01570

Adoption Connection, 978-532-1261, Email: S_Darke@hotmail.com
11 Peabody Square, #6, Peabody 01960

Healing Adoption - Completing the Circle, 508-697-8772, Email: Angel5596@aol.com
PO Box 684, Bridgewater 02324-0684

Adoption Healing, Carolyn Canfield, 508-295-9755, Email: Canoak@CapeonRamp.com
44 Wareham Lake Shore Drive, E. Wareham 02538

Cape Cod Adoption Connection 508-896-7332
PO Box 336, Brewster 02631

Vinyard Haven, Open Circle 508-693-6727;

Hang in there, LoriBeth. Look on the bright side, atleast you know that you were adopted. I feel a lot of what you feel, only I still don't know and can't turn to my parents for the answer. Stay positive, it will get better.
Good luck!