[mlassi]

I am a reunited adoptee (June 2004). My kids are now 11,9, and 3. My kids (the olders two really) were very excited when I found my bfamily. As I started exploring my genealogy, my son was very into learning about it too. Now he can finally declare ethnic background and history on my side. The kids now have a new family to learn about (my bdad's side, reunion with bmom is in limbo) and have met my bdad (Grandpa Jim). We are hoping to make a trip in the next year to visit CO and met the rest of my bfamily. I am wondering about how other adoptees kids reacted to reunion.
Mary

[chris1965]

Hey Mary!

My kids are 14, 12, & 7 and they all express varying degrees of interest in my birthmother, expecially my youngest, but I don't think the whole concept of relinquishment/adoption has really sunk-in yet with the younger two. They all got to meet my birth mother this past Easter weekend and things went really well, but my oldest was pretty shy around her most of the time. I told my kids about meeting my birth mother about two weeks after our first meeting. And they all knew I had been adopted before.

Not too long ago my son (who's the 14 year old) and I were picking his friend up at his house so he could spend the night and while my son and I were both waiting in the car for him, he just asked me out of the blue, "so if she had kept you, then those people in that picture (my bmom w/ her bros and sisters) would be your aunts and uncles, right?". Now I at least know he's thinking about it more than I thought he was.

Intially, before my birth mother met my children, she had some concerns that she would be 'thought bad of' by the kids (for being an unwed mother and giving me up), but they made me a very proud dad that day by really helping making her feel welcome. Nobody is perfect and we don't live in a perfect world. I think just being open and honest with them (the exact same way my parents were with me with me being adopted) has really eased them along thru my reunion experence.

Mary, I'm glad to know you've made plans to reciprocate your visit with your bfamily in CO next year.

And hopefully by then your birth mother will have come around!

Chris

[kperoc]

My kids are 21 and 18, they have shown little interest in meeting members of my birth family.

[tricia3]

I reunited when my children were very young, 7,4 and 9 months. There really was no need to explain much. They've only seen her 2 times, once when we first reunited and then again last November.
They really don't ask a lot of questions. All along I've explained in terms they can understand about how a person comes to be adopted. My husband is also adopted so I thought it was important for them to understand that our family is quite unique.

[mlassi]

thanks for your replies
Mary

[snuffie]

Hi
I reunited after my kids were all grown up. My youngest son was not happy with me at first because he felt that I was trying to replace his grandparents. But after I explained to him why I was searching he got excited about it. Both of my kids enjoy seeing pictures of their "new" aunts and uncles and cousins and hope to meet them face to face someday.
Our oldest is expecting his first child and is happy that we know health issues (even if it is only on my bmom's side. I'm still searching for my bdad.)