[SugarB]

Hi all. I'm new to this forum. I'm now 36, female, in Illinois, and looking for my birth parents. I was born in Indiana, but lived in IL all my life. My adoptive parents got me (I think) when I was around 6 mo. old from a hospital in Terre Haute. This is about the only info I have from my a-parents. They kept from me the fact that I was adopted and my a-brother told me when I was 21. I had always had clues or suspicions, but never knew for sure until then. I've talked to my a-mother about this but she is hesitant (still) to give me any information. My a-father passed on when I was 20. I filled out paperwork to find my b-parents a couple years ago, but never sent them in. I'm at a point in my life where I'm considering trying to find them. What is my next step? I have a history (20 years plus) of depression that I believe stems from the untruthfulness of my a-parents and a feeling of the lack of love and missing my b-mother. Please help. Thanks for reading/listening.

-Tammy

[Duchie]

Tammy,

Welcome to the forum!!!! There's some really great and insightful people on these boards.

I'm a reunited adoptee and was about your age when I decided to finally search. I too had the paperwork all filled out for the non-identifying information when I was 21 and sent that along. But rescinded the "Consent to Contact" because I was afraid of the unknown. I guess that all adoptees have the same fear.

16 years later, I finally got up the courage to proceed with my search.

Was there an adoption facility involved in your adoption? That might be a good place to start.

Good luck on your search and keep in touch on your progress.

Duchie

[carolynppk]

Hi Tammy,

I am from Indiana, was born in Indiana, adopted in Indiana have stayed in Indiana. The first thing you will want to do is go through the State Adoption registry. Mary Hinds is the woman who heads up that department. DO you have an adoption agency name? COntacting them will also give you all the consents. In Indiana both parties must consent to having the information open. Let me get you Mary's number she will be the best person to tell you what you need to do and how to obtain the proper forms. Mary Hinds, Manager Special Projects & Registries-Vital Statistics Division
2 North Meridian Street Indianapolis, IN 46204 317-233-1325 You may also go online to www.in.gov/isdh/bdcertifs/birth_and death_certificates.htm from there you will see a link about adoption, etc. sometimes the form will print out and you just have to mail it in with a copy of your driver's license, other times you have to contact Mary and she will send you a form if the internet isn't working right. Message me if you need any help, numbers whatever. Good luck and again, if there is anything I can do to help, please send me a note.
Carolyn

[carolynppk]

Tammy, it isn't printing the link correctly it would be

www.in.gov/isdh/bdcertifs/birth_and_death_certificates.htm

there is an underline _ between the words birth and and (birth_and) then between and and death (and_death) and then death and certificates(death_certificates) you can't see them because it is all underlined. Again, if you have any questions, I'm in Indy. I'll do my best to help. I am sorry about your parents not being forthcoming from the start. I truly think people try to handle things the best way they know how. Hindsight is always 20/20. Please try not to be angry (I know, easier said than done) You will find great support here!!

Carolyn

[RKnotts]

I too am a hoosier adoptee... I wish you luck in your search...

[SugarB]

Hi Carolyn! Thank you so much for the info. I remember contacting a man a couple years ago and I believe he was from the IN State of Dept. Health. I will print out that form and mail it in w/ a copy of my driver's license. This will be my first step.

I don't harbor any bad feelings for my a-mom. I mean, she raised me the best way she knew how and I seemed to turn out to be a pretty good person!

My mom said she went through Children and Family Services and Christian Family Services?? I believe. This was done in Champaign, Illinois, which is close to where I grew up. I currently live in Illinois and have never visted my birthplace, Terre Haute.

Thanks to Duchie and Knotts for their responses and welcome. This seems like a really helpful and informative site and forum. It really helps to talk to others who were adopted and get their insight.

Tammy

[carolynppk]

Tammy, I am in Indianpolis (I've been to your birth place MNAY times!!!) If I can get you any numbers, names, anything, please send me a private message and I will get them to you immediately. You are in my thoughts. Good luck!!


Carolyn

[itsmenancy]

Hi Tammy ~ I too am in Illinois. My adoption was also through Children & Family services in Champaign. I got the packet to be filled out, but I found my b.mother on my own with out needing that info.

So exactly who is it you go to for the info? Indiana where you were born or Illinois because that's where the adoption took place? I thought I had it straight when I started searching but I'm confused again (nothing unusual for me.. lol.)

You've found a great group & some wonderful people, so feel free to ask away & share.

-Nancy

[carolynppk]

Tammy and Nancy (hi Buddy)
I believe she would need to go through both. SHe should contact her adoption agency for sure. Her non-identifying info would be through Indiana becasue she was born there. I need a little more info. You were placed at 6 mos. old? SO were you in foster care or did your bmom keep you until then. Since you were actually born in Indiana, that is where you would want to start. They will send you:
1. Sex (duh)
2. Date of Birth
3. Time of Birth
4. Birth Weight
5. Length
6. Date Certificate filed by Health Officer
7. Birth Mother's age at child's birth
8. Birth Mother's Birthplace
9. Birth Mother's Race (might surprise ya!!LOL!!)
10. Birth Mother's Education

I'd start with that because you were actually born in Indiana and have an original birth certificate from there. I don't know what your current one says. I was only 6 days old when I was placed with my parents so they got to put where they were living at the time as my place of birth. I would also contact your adoption agency that Nancy spoke of and see what is in that. Nancy is a wealth of information and being from the same area and agency she may have some really great tips for you. She found her bmom all on her own. Good luck dear, I hope I have been of some help.

Carolyn

[itsmenancy]

When I posted earlier I had wanted to say - anyone that happens to read this, PLEASE keep Carolyn in your prayers - as today her b.mom will be contacted.


I didn't mean to go off topic of your thread Tammy, but Carolyn SO DESERVES this. She's such a sweet person! Even though when her b.mom was 1st contacted & said she doesn't want contact, Carolyn still thinks of her b.moms feelings and everyone else's ~ so willing to lend a hand or ear - we need more Carolyn's in the world!!!!

So please take a second or 2 & remember Carolyn today.

Tammy - if ya need #'s or whatever just give me a yell. I have some Illinois resource links as well.

-Nancy

[carolynppk]

Dear Tammy,


This is exactly what I am talking about when it comes to the support from these people. You are in my thoughts and prayers as I know that you have a lot on your plate with your adoption having been kept a secret from you. I'm glad that you hold no bitterness against your adopted mother. I understand your depression as I have dealt with clinical depression all my life almost. I wouldn't say mine has been caused by being adopted, I think I just have a chemical imbalance. I harbor no ill feelings toward any one. Although I am sad my b mom wants no contact, I love her and respect that. I know she has had to much to deal with at such a young age (she was pregnant at 15 and had me at 16). I am 39 years old and with all that I have dealt with (in high school my best friend being murdered by her boy friend -who was one of my best friends-Losing my father and husband three weeks apart; having a miscarriage with my new husband, just to name a few~no wonder I 'm depressed?LOL!!!!) I have come to learn the only person bitterness and hate hurts is you. Forgiveness of others really frees yourself. Again, best of luck! Let me know if you need anything.

Carolyn

[SugarB]

Carolyn (and Nancy!) - I can tell you girls are pretty special people. I'm praying for you Carolyn. I'm sorry that your b-mom doesn't want contact. I can so understand that you are disappointed but can understand where she's coming from. My a-mom said all she knew about my b-parents were that they were young - she thinks my b-mom was 16.

I contacted Children & Family Services in Champaign and they are mailing me the info. I also have a call in to Mary Hinds. Thank you both so much for the info. I found my paperwork that I started to fill out 3 yrs. ago to send in to IL Dept. of Public Health and just never did. I don't think it was in God's plan for me just yet to do it. I do feel the spirit moving me now, though, to find out what info. I can - even if it is just medical info.

Thanks again for the support and kindness!

-Tammy

[JennKrock]

I'm from and still live in Terre haute. We had two hospitals at the time; Union Hospital and St. Anthony's hospital. We also had a Florence Critteron Home as well.

I may be able to help you as I have connections established during my own sucessful search as well as others I have assisted on.

Please feel free to email me...perhaps I can help you.

Best wishes and warmest regards,
Jenn
My registry: http://registry.adoption.com/records/389911.html
My webpage: http://krockenberger.homestead.com/JennifersSearch.html