[UK Trace]

I am in therapy at the moment but have been reading Nancy Verriers (sp) books "primal wound" and her other one....its shown me quite a lot about why I struggle to take critisms and advice etc...I fight everyone and everything..at aged 42 its a bit silly now...I thought being subborn was just me...I thought fighting authority was just me...but looks like its still the adopted child in me resisting my adoptive mum....its so tiring living this way!!.....its also hindering me having a "normal" live....the thought of letting go of that old tapes scares me...I get this fear go round in my stomach like a washing machine when I think of just accepting and listning to others give me advice without me fight them...I do hope that identifying this behavoiur will lead me to changing it...I am scared stiff tha I am going to stay this way forever.

[Lis6191]

UK Trace, welcome to the forum. I'm a "newbie" around here, too, and I hear you. I think just coming to the forum is a step in the right direction. I am 33 and have most of my life in denial, never at peace, but never admitting that anything was wrong.

I've learned here on the board from so many insightful people -- adoptees, bparents, aparents -- as I'm sure you will, too.

Joe Soll's book, Adoption Healing, was very beneficial to me. And believe it or not, I credit most of my progress to Evanescence. Not sure what type of music you are into but I'm convinced that Amy Lee from Evanescence is a fellow adoptee because she speaks about my life in all of her songs.

You need to find what works for you and start processing all that's bottled up inside. I have taken everything I've read and heard with a grain of salt then spent solitary time to process my feelings, my behaviors, and my life.

Keep posting. You'll be able to start sorting thru your thoughts as you share with others on the board.

[LuckyDog]

Originally Posted by Lis6191

I'm convinced that Amy Lee from Evanescence is a fellow adoptee because she speaks about my life in all of her songs.

Hmm, I'll have to check it out. All of the Evanescence I know is from the Tru Calling theme song (I loved that show.)

Lucky

[UK Trace]

Yes I like Evanescence, will have to have a more careful listen.