[John1971]

my search would end this way. I was lucky enough to find the best search angel last spring, i thought it was fate after she contacted my bmom that i would finally get to talk/see her --- 3 times a letter was written to her, but no reply. (We're 99% sure she did receive the letters). Then a few months later back in August, my bfather was contacted by phone. But he never called my angel back. After 10 years of searching for them, it was hard to accept that they did not want contact. I have tried to be sooo understanding of their feelings, but i guess i just have to accept it. It's been an emotional year, i have come to take on a new appreciation for the parents i do have. I take comfort in knowing that maybe this is God's plan that i realize this. And also to be more accepting of myself as is ( i really wanted to know my true heritage from bparents).
I guess my question is are there any others out there who are in the same position as me that found, but have never been in contact. If you have any advice period i'll take that too. thanks a mil!

[K1972]

I am in the same situation. I wrote two letters and had a social worker contact my birthmother. If you don't know what the situation was, that could be the reason you haven't had contact. I've been through a very tough time as I am ready to start a family to understand how she couldn't understand how important it is for my true identity to be known. I know what she is, but she lied about my birthfather and I've been living the last ten years thinking I was another nationality.

My advice to you? It seems like you're on your way. I think accepting that this life doesn't offer all the answers and that the answers we do not have mean that we grieve what we don't know. It is like a death. It hurts the same. I lost six people last year including my a/father on Christmas, and beleive me it's grief. It actually is worse. Hopefully, if anything I've validated your struggle. We're all here for each other. This is a unique place for all of us. I hope you find peace in not being alone.

[John1971]

Thank you K1972, that really meant alot to me. I am very sorry for your losses, i can't imagine as i am lucky enough to have all of my family around me. I really should take a closer look on just appreciating the family i do have, which, as i said i have really come to appreciate more. I realize we are just here on Earth a short time. Love the ones you do have. I won't worry so much about a life i never knew or those "parents" i never knew. They weren't really my parents to begin with. They just gave life to me, and that was it. I have never known them. I believe things happen for a reason so i am comfortable w/ that. Thank you for your response!!!!

[NikkiLGA]

John, I am sorry you have been through so much. You said "maybe its in God's plan...." Also, it may not be His timing right now. Your true heritage comes from the Lord. Believe in yourself, and see that He most definitely has a plan for your life. Hang in there, and its good you've come to the forum. Lots of support here. (You can read my story at adoption.com, emag, June 17, 2003 issue "He Did This for Us" by Nikki Lever).
God bless you - Nikki