[theresa ann]

I am not trying to offend anyone, But this has been really bothering me for a long time. Why are so many people going to other countries to adopt children ? Are there not enough children in the united states to go around? There are so many children that do not have homes yet people are traveling across the world to adopt children. Our american children need parents too. If I had my own home and could afford to, I would give the children of our nation an opportunity to be raised in a home with parents who want a child. I feel very sad for our children . I was adopted by people that were not from the U.S.A . I wonder what would have happened to me if they hadnt? There are so many children from so many different cultures here in our country that have been abandoned by their parents and end up growing up in the system. What is wrong with adopting them? Please dont be offended , I just dont understand why they are not getting the same opportunities that children from foreign countries are getting. I am an american that believes that we as a country need to take care of our own people and our own children . Did we forget the little americans that are our future ? I am confused.

[defiance501]

I agree with you...what about right here in our own country?!

Anyway, I am new here, so maybe you could give me some pointers?

I am looking for my sister (ok, half-sister). Her name at birth was Tessa Lou-Ann Barber. (I, suppose, that is the reason I read your post, your name is so similar) She was adopted in FL In 1978 or 1979. Her DOB is (or was, because I have found that the birth certificates could be amended) Dec. 16, 1972. Birthmother is Patricia Harris. We have some medical conditions in our family that is definitely hereditary. So I would like to make contact with her partly for this reason. However, mostly because I would like to get to know her. I haved loved and missed her from the time I knew of her existence.

Can you please help me?

[Lynn226]

I am a prospective adoptive parent. Although I am willing to consider domestic adoption, I will probably select international. That will probably mean that I will have to wait longer due to the cost. Here are my reasons for primarily considering international.

1. My marital status. I'm not sure too many birth moms would select a single, divorced woman with a lower middle class income to adopt her baby.

2. The children available overseas have already been freed for adoption - something that is not always true here. Also, as I understand it, there is usually more than one family competing to adopt the same child. I couldn't take being turned down over and over again. My research indicates if you receive a referral in most international adoptions, then you are the only family under consideration for that child.

3. Also, I have to admit that I am not overly enthusiastic about open adoption. However, I have warmed up to it since joining this forum and I may change my mind at some point in the future.

Just my .02.

Lynn

P.S. I forgot to mention my age. I am now 35 and by the time I raise enough money to adopt, I will probably be out of the running for a baby in this country.

[defiance501]

I can understand it from that point.

I, personally, am not an adoptee, or even seeking to adoptive. My interest here is primarily, trying to seek my sister who was adopted. However, it was a closed adoption, which is making my search even more difficult.

I wish you the best of luck in your pursuit.

God Bless You!

[spaypets]

Aren't ALL children entitled to parents regardless of where they were born?

You said that you don't want to offend, but it is very offensive to say that American children are more entitled to families than children living in orphanages elsewhere. My daughter had already been turned down by at least three families in her home country before she was certified to be adopted internationally. She needed parents.

We chose international adoption because there was an estimated time frame to receive a child, whereas in domestic newborn adoption and adoption from fostercare one never knows when a match will be made. Also, in international adoption, the parents have already relinquished their children--I wasn't placed in the position of hoping a mother would decide she couldn't parent her child--that decision was made long before I came on the scene.

Everyone has different priorities when it comes to forming their family. For some, adopting a newborn is important above all else. For others, having a predictable process is key. For still others, it's about being there for a needy child. Luckily for all the children out there who need parents, there are lots of ways to adopt.

[SI_Lori]

My husband was adopted and gave me a little hard time when I finally decided we should adopt. He was worried that someone would show up at our door, not always the case - this I know. But he had his fears and he felt alot better with an international adoption - putting that much more gap there.

I respect open adoptions very much, and I think they take more work. I just didn't want to be in that situation.

We didn't want to do the foster care.......and maybe get attached to a baby that they would take back because the mother wanted the baby. (These are all stories I had heard when I was considering)

Babies are babies........ and if they need a family and you can make a match - who cares where they came from.

There are long lists of parents waiting to adopt in the USA, and most children will find a loving family. I feel for the older kids that age out of the system because most want infants.

I wish I was mega rich because I would do something for those children that need loving attention.

As for my personal situation, my husband and I took an option that sounded good to us. It worked for us. We're happy.......our children are a blessing and we thank God everyday for sending them to us. I feel very lucky.

[Lynn226]

Originally posted by spaypets
For others, having a predictable process is key.

You say it best. I know that situations sometimes change in the international adoption arena. However, if you work with a reputable agency and choose your country and referrals carefully, then your process can be fairly predicatable. That being said, there are international adoption horror stories out there, too.