[newlyorphaned]

I always knew that I was adopted. My a-mom told every stranger in the grocery store when I was growing up. Getting information out of her about my b-mother was difficult but she told me that my b-mother was divorced with a son about 5 years older than me. A search angel agreed to help me search and in the past 3 weeks I have gotten lots of information. I'm waiting on my non-id info from California and other documents that I've requested. I have discovered that my birth mother and her husband have both passed away. Apparently my birth mother had a sister who appears to still be living. I have obtained names on 3 siblings two of whom are still living. the youngest died 3 months prior to my birth mother (I can only imagine what she felt). I always though that if I had the names locating them would not be hard but it's been the hardest part. I'm wondering what to expect. The oldest brother appears to have been 8 when I was born and adopted after one month. I'm hopeful that he might remember. Anyone out there have any experience with this? I'm wondering what to expect. This has been the strangest journey of my life the ups and downs and the total obsession. Thanks to all who have submitted to this forum, your sharing really helps and especially to the birth moms you've given me some insight.

[snuffie]

Hi!

Have you tried to obtain your bmom's obituary? Libraries keep obits indefinetly and they have a wealth of information (married names, sometimes locations)

Also, US search has a free section where you can type in a name and you can narrow a search by age etc. (But be aware that the list is not complete.)

There are other ideas on this forum from the search guru too.

I wish you happiness in your search and reunion.

Hugs
Snuffie

[newlyorphaned]

Thanks Snuffy, just heard from the news paper and have to send cash and letter. I'm hoping there will be some info. I'm still waiting on a bunch of stuff (public records). I'm wondering what the other kids reactions will be to me. I'm focusing on my brother who was 8 when I was born and adopted and hoping that he will remember that mommie brought home a baby for a month.

[CindyWho]

I am going thru similar situation. I found my b-mother thru International Soundex Reunion Registry (wonderful people) and was told that she had died 10 years ago. The registry left some clueswhich led me to her obit. I had to e-mail the paper, but thru that I found my maternal birth brother. When I tracked him down thru hours on internet his response was basically "I knew about you and had been hoping you would find me", as he didn't have any identifying info on me. I understand about the 'obsession' part! I would suggest looking into registries-maybe she registered or sibs have. SS death index and Ancestry.com have been helpful, as well as online phone books. All I can tell you is that knowing is always better and my experience, although difficult, has been very positive. You don't know how important that connection is until you have it.
Good Luck and keep looking!

[Rita77]

Cindywho:
Wow, someone else is in my shoes. I just reuntied with my biological family back in March of 2003 and also found out that my Mom was deceased. Same thing happened to me with my father's side too. But I have other family, and siblings that I'm so blessed with, that have changed my life!

I wish all of you searching the best of luck out there!! I hope to one day be able to help people locate their families, as that has been my biggest passion in life.

~Christine

[newlyorphaned]

Cindywho & Rita

Thanks for the support. I'm still going though with the search for my birth siblings, it's like it's no longer a choice. I'm so close. I got kind of discouraged last night reading post on the length of time it takes to obtain the non-identifying info. Since mine was a private adoption I'm also worried that there may not be much information, but who knows? I guess God's in charge of this. Your right knowing is better than not knowing. Even though the death of my b-mom has been hard at least now I know her name and how old she was, etc. It makes her a little more real to me somehow. It strikes me as pitiful what we have to go through just to know our mother's name! I feel as though I've learned so much about adoption and reunification since I started this. I've been reading up on reunification ettiquitte I guess getting mentally prepared. It's so hard when your looking because you get so emotional and the search angels have the objectivity that I was lacking. I've been giving some thought to learning to be a search angel myself when this is behind me. This forum has been a blessing, when you tell people what's going on they just sort of look at you and don't know what to say, talk about a tragedy! But you guys have been there and understand and it just helps so much to know that I'm not the only one. Did you have a gut feeling your whole life that she would be dead when you found her? I've always had that feeling. Even in my dreams she was always dead by the time I found her and everytime whoever in the dream would go to get me a picture of her I would wake up before they got back with the picture. I've never even seen her in my dreams. I find myself looking back at this kind of stuff and wonder if it's normal or premonition. Stay in touch cuz I need you alot.

[Rita77]

That was a quick reply!

I'll have to agree with you,this adoption forum has been awesome. My husband and I want to put together a website kind of like this one, and I really would love to help find people's families too!!

I always felt in my heart that I would never find my Mom. Psychic's and people who had met my mom feared of me meeting her. She had a very sick illness, and so she never got to Mother her 5 kids. But I love the fact that she would visit me when I was an infant / toddler and the stories I hear about her our just incredible! I guess God didn't want me to meet her yet? To answer your question, I have had one dream about my Mom and it was so real. I just remember hugging her and she was so happy to see me. We were both crying in my dream. That next month I found my family, and I think my Mom helped me find them. Now, I believe she vists me, I have some strange things happen around the house. The funny thing is I look, and act the most like her out of all my siblings, but of course I'm not sick! I have had an amazing story happen on My Dad's side too.

I would love to hear more about you, and what you know? Maybe there is something that I can do?

Feel free to write to me at this email: fourpinkandablue@comcast.net

~Christine