[CBear7613]

Hi there I searched and found my b/mum in the last 2yrs, with my a/parents help. My husband is great to talk to, but sometimes he just doesn't understand. It would be great to talk to other ppl. To get a different insight into everything. I am very new to this site and still learning the ropes. PM if you want to be an epal!!
CBEAR

[KeighlaT30]

Hi,
I am an adoptee who has reunited with my birthmother as well.
I also have tried to talk to people, but unless they are in your shoes, they just don't understand. I would enjoy to have someone to talk to as well.

[sara schuelein]

Hi,
Great that you found your b/mother. I am in a slighlty different situation in that I have started searching and gotten nowhere. Maybe you could give me some insight about how you did it and what the proccess was like. I have yet to speak to anyone who has actually done it, ie other friends that i have who are adopted. I find the whole proccess frustrating so far b/c I have so little imformation and would not be able to get the help from my A/family. You are very lucky in that sense.
Congradulations!

Sara

[heidijo]

Hi Sara,

I am in the same boat as you. I have been searching for awhile and have found very little information. Of course, my adoption was started in Buffalo, NY and finalized in Toledo, OH. Best of luck to you on your search--you can pm me if you want to chat.

As for the first thread--it is great that you found your birth mom. I know that my ex-husband was not very supportive in my search. I hope that one day he will learn to listen with an open heart and objective so that he may be of some help to you...

Good Luck and Congradulations!!!! Heidi Jo

[CBear7613]

Hi guys

I was lucky with my search in that I had a place to start searching. The sad part is since I posted that thread all contact has been cut between myself and my b/mum. Her husband (not my b/father) made things very very difficult and made a lot of demands and threats. But I would be more than glad to talk about my search and if I can help in anyway would love to. Or even just the whole experience. Even though it ended ugly I am very glad I got to know a little bit about my past (even briefly). I just hold my head up and say it is their lose not mine!

Warm regards Claire

[sara schuelein]

Clair,

I am sorry that things did not work out for you.
I read a lot of posts on this site about complications after the birth mother is actually found. Why were you getting threats? Sounds serious! I suppose it was a different time back when we were adoption and people aren't as receptive. SOme people want to forget and get on with their lives b/c the circumstances could have been less than desirable. It could be anything.

I am so interested in hearing how you bagan your search though. And what roads it lead you down.

At least you know a little more info than you did before about where you came from. i feel that is the real issue. A need to know who we are and what our idenity is. I read an article recently about adopted children having really vivd imaginations. They can tend to create a world of where they came from and who they are. That can be quite special for all of us to know.

I hope all is OK for you. Hope to hear from you soon.

Sara

[sara schuelein]

Heidi Jo,

I thought I would make a post just for you. So what about the whole birth certificate thing. Personally i don't trust that the info there is correct. Unfortunately i cannot talk to me adoptive parents about it. They are really not very open for discussion with anything that has to do with my adoption. i can understand that they are afraid. I have lots of questions to ask. Hope to hear from you soon. SAra

[CBear7613]

Hi Sara

Things were going along really well for me and my b/mum and her family (so I thought). My b/mum's husband was very controlling of the whole situation. I would write letters to her and would receive letters from him with a short message at the bottom from my b/mum. We all talked about meeting but then things went strange. He wanted my parents (and my husbands parents) and my b/mum to meet (and him) but my parents made it clear that they did not want to meet (their choice which I fully understand) then he told me that if we did not comply with "HIS" wishes then he would take us to court. He is of Indian background but never told us of his beliefs at all until the end when he started making demands, I fully understand the beliefs but instead of saying something earlier he used it to cease my relationship with my b/mum. There is a whole more to it but that is the short version. So in the end I had to choose so I did not reply. Then a week later he posted me a letter saying they no longer wanted contact and that it was against the law for me to contact them (which it never was).

I am just happy that I did get to know about my past a little and my maternal medical history which is important when your children ask.

I remeber as a child I used to make up fairy tale stories of where I was from it was good fun!

Claire