[KaseyHamnerM.S.]

Hello Folks,

I just recently did a radio interview with Dr. Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D. on foster parenting. I would like to discuss various things here on the forum.

1) Do you think that alternative methods of reprduction should be allowed when we have thousands of waiting children who need permanent homes?

2) As an adoptee, I lived with various foster parents my first three months of life. I have a curiosity about who bathed me, fed me, and held me, etc. Do you think that in addition to having our adoption records open, do you think our fostering records should be open also?

[MixandMatch]

I think every single child in this world has the right to know who took care of them from day one. Fostering should be no exception.

[mckenna]

i have been a foster parent for 4 years and recently adopted one of my foster children he is almost 3 y/o. i will try to explain my answers to your questions as best i can.



1) Do you think that alternative methods of reprduction should be allowed when we have thousands of waiting children who need permanent homes?

absolutly not. waiting chileren deserve parents who want to parent them, not people who are forced to parent them if they want to be parents. every one should have the right to form there family in the way they see fit. if it is possible through alternative methods of reproduction (i am assuming you mean ivf, surrogecy, ect) ant that is how they would rather form their family than through a waiting child, then that is what they should do. how horrible for a child who have been waiting to find a family only to go to one who settled for them.

2) As an adoptee, I lived with various foster parents my first three months of life. I have a curiosity about who bathed me, fed me, and held me, etc. Do you think that in addition to having our adoption records open, do you think our fostering records should be open also?

yes, fostering records should be open also. my friend has fostered for 30+ years and initially could not even send pictures with the child when he/she went to thier adoptive home. she has files of pictures with captions saved in the event that one of the children look them up and would like pictures of themselves during that time.

[KaseyHamnerM.S.]

Wow, thank you so much for your input. It makes my heart glad to hear there are foster parents like you out there that take the time to chroncile the time the child was with them. I have no idea where to start. Any suggestions to our readers?

kasey
kaseyhamner.com

[HappyMomAnna]

1) Do you think that alternative methods of reprduction should be allowed when we have thousands of waiting children who need permanent homes?

I believe it requires a certain kind of family to adopt a waiting child I do NOT believe mandating a family to choose a waiting child over any other form of reproduction would be in the best interest of the waiting children--actually I find this idea to be rather insane!

2) As an adoptee, I lived with various foster parents my first three months of life. I have a curiosity about who bathed me, fed me, and held me, etc. Do you think that in addition to having our adoption records open, do you think our fostering records should be open also?

I believe that in the foster care system in most cases is doing the best they can to create the possiblity of providing this information to the currently placed children. Our state created a lifebook for our children complete with the full names and pictures of the foster families who cared for them.
I believe foster children have every right to reunite with foster families just as they have every right to eunite with birthfamilies.

[mckenna]

i really don't have any suggestions, cuz i don't know what kinds of records have been kept. there is a place on this site where you can post looking for foster parents and whenever any one does, i always check to see if it could possible be my friends, but it has not been as of yet. good luck to all searching.

[DianeS]

Absolutely people should be "allowed" to form their family any way they see fit. "Alternative" methods should be allowed as long as "natural" methods are. People whose reproductive organs need medical help shouldn't be discriminated against and forced to assume the burden of caring for a child they wouldn't have chosen just because it's the only way they can parent, if people who can have a child "naturally" don't have to do the same thing. (Can you tell I feel strongly about this? I CHOOSE to adopt a waiting child in my quest to be a parent, but not everyone does and they shouldn't be forced to.)

And certainly a child should have information about his/her life from day one and throughout life. Caseworkers in my area are beginning to require foster parents to create lifebooks and send them with the children whereever the children go later. I think that's a good idea, now they just have to ensure the books stay with the children and aren't thrown away or damaged or minimized later. Things seem to be getting better in that respect, but we're nowhere near good enough yet.

[KaseyHamnerM.S.]

Great point! I hadn't thought of that. Forcing any kind of family development could lead to resentment. Keep it coming!

Kasey Hamner, adoptee in reunion, and glad for it!

[PinkRibbon]

Originally posted by KaseyHamnerM.S.
Hello Folks,

I just recently did a radio interview with Dr. Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D. on foster parenting. I would like to discuss various things here on the forum.

1) Do you think that alternative methods of reprduction should be allowed when we have thousands of waiting children who need permanent homes?

2) As an adoptee, I lived with various foster parents my first three months of life. I have a curiosity about who bathed me, fed me, and held me, etc. Do you think that in addition to having our adoption records open, do you think our fostering records should be open also?

1) I think not allowing other reproductive methods is the same as trying to take away a woman's right to choose BUT I do not think this should be funded by the government or insurance companies because otherwise everyone pays the cost.
2) I absolutely think fostering records should be opened.

[KaseyHamnerM.S.]

Thanks so much for your feedback. Keep it coming.

kasey

[DianeS]

In response to PinkRibbonAmy's comment about infertility and insurance coverage - of course fertility treatments should be covered by insurance!

Reproduction is a normal part of life. Some people choose to do it, and some don't. Just like everything else. We give allergy treatments to people who want to be outdoors, we give immune treatments to people who want to be in contact with others, we give plastic surgery treatments to people who want to look like others.

Why wouldn't we give fertility treatments to people who want to have a child like others?

Allergic people *could* live indoors with air conditioners, or wear masks. Some asmatic people *could* live without exerting themselves. People with immune system problems *could* live without human contact. People who are disfigured *could* live with looking like that. And people who cannot have biological children *could* live without ever doing so.

But why should they? There is no emotional difference between the people - they all want something their bodies medically prevent them from having. We fund treatment for the other conditions from health insurance plans, we should fund treatment for infertility through health insurance plans too.

[KaseyHamnerM.S.]

Good point, thanks for the input. Keep it coming.

kasey