[Beth7280]

I get so frustrated with this whole process sometimes. Does anyone ever feel like they are doing everything in their power to find their biological family and that if the family actually wanted found that they would have found them by now? I want to meet my family mostly for siblings and to finally see a face that looks like mine somewhere in this world. I have tried for years to locate my biological family still to no avail. I am only 23 now and i have been looking since I was roughly 16. It started out with me thinking that my biological mother wanted to wait until I was 18 to look, then 21, now I start to think that maybe I should give up because she doesnt want to be found. I hold no anger towards her, I really actually want to thank her for giving me the chance to have a better life than she must have known I was going to have. I would love anyone else's insights into this matter that are in the same situation or on the other side of the fence. Thanks for listening!!!

[snuffie]

I agree that it is very frustrating at times. Have you tried going through a state adoption search agency if there is one in your state? Or asked for help from the adoption agency?

Because we have not found our bfamily members does not mean that they are not looking for us. There are many methods of searching and not everyone knows about or utilizes the same one.

I am an adoptee who has been in reunion for several years, but it took many, many years. So never give up!!

I wish you much luck and happiness in your search and reunion.

Snuffie

[Beth7280]

I feel like I have tried every resource out there that I can find. I try to post on every website that I can find, and I am constantly searching for any kind of posts that could be related to me. Unfortunately, resources around here are not very helpful. I have obtained my biological mothers last name when I was born but it is such a common last name there could be hundreds of matches. I have tried to get non-identirying info through my adoption agency, but the information that I received back contradicts with that I had previously found out and I dont know who to believe.
Thank you for responding to my post!

[dl]

Thesearchguru has posted helpful searching information for each state. In what state did your adoption take place?

The agency that handled my adoption had a "post adoption services" department and they did a search for me and the social worker acted as a confidential intermediary. Do you know if the agency that handled your adoption has anything like this?

It is not possible to assume that because you have not been found that no one is looking. After all, they don't know you're looking for them as you haven't found them ~ right? Also, not everyone is on the internet. Have you registered with the non internet registries?

Best of Luck!

[Beth7280]

I am from Ohio - I dont think that my adoption agency has a department like that - I have been in contact with them and they have never said anything about that. I am not giving up hope-I just get so exasperated sometimes.

[dl]

Here's the searching information thesearchguru posted for Ohio. Hope it helps ~ Best of Luck!

Ohio Searching Resources
Welcome to the Search and Reunion Message Board!

STATE ADOPTION SPECIALIST:
(For questions about access to adoption related information and records)
Ohio Bureau of Family Services
Office for Children and Families
255 East Main Street, 4th Floor
Columbus, OH 43215
(614) 466-9274
Fax: (614) 466-0164

ACCESSING ADOPTION RECORDS:
Obtaining Non-Identifying Information: Adopted adults, birth parents, and birth siblings can receive non-identifying information if the adoption was finalized before January 1, 1964, or after September 18, 1996. If the adoption was finalized between January 1, 1964, and September 18, 1996, adopted adults must petition the probate court to receive information.

Obtaining Identifying Information: An adopted adult whose adoption was finalized before January 1, 1964, may request and receive the adoption record, birth certificate and information regarding the birth parents. An adopted adult whose adoption was finalized on or after January 1, 1964, and before September 18, 1996, must petition the probate court for the information regarding birth parents. An adopted adult whose adoption was finalized after September 18, 1996, can receive information if the consent of the birth parents is on file. Birth parents and birth siblings related to an adopted adult whose adoption was finalized before September 18, 1996, can file consent to have information released. For adoptions finalized after September 18, 1996, an adopted adult can sign a consent form to have information released to birth parents and birth siblings.

Obtaining an Original Birth Certificate: An adopted adult can receive birth certificate through the Ohio Department of Health, if the adoption was finalized before January 1, 1964.

Many blessings on your search journey,
Colleen Buckner, THE SEARCH GURU
Moderator for Search and Reunion Message Board
Email: thesearchguru@yahoo.com
http://www.therighttoknow.info


Other great websites to check out:
http://www.adoptionchat.com
http://www.adoptionlists.com
http://www.adoption.com
http://www.adopting.org
http://registry.adoption.com/

[l-thompson]

Beth

Frustration big time - I completely understand.

I was pleased to hear you had not given up , its more a feeling of what more can I do and why on earth can't I find them.

One thing I did learn going through the searching period is patience...and lots of it. I was searching in Ontario, Canada but live in New Zealand ( long story)

I posted on as many sites as I could find but at the end of the day it was a Government agency ( at least I think it was) called the Adoption Disclosure Register.
As dlouis has posted below I would think the agency advised would possibly be the best option.
You mentioned your non-identifying info was in conflict with other information that you had - where did the other info come from??
My non-identifying info from the Childrens Aid in Toronto was pretty accurate but I have read posts where the non id was not completely true.

My b/mother only recently got a computer so all those years of posting on the internet were fruitless.
Also she felt she had no right to search for me - she had relinguished in 1963 and was basically told to move on and forget I was born!!

I wish you the very best of luck in your search - hang in there.

[sonata]

Please don't make any assumptions!

I understand because I have been where you are. I searched 20 years before I was successful! I thought the exact same thing many times - that if my birthmother wanted to be found I would have been able to find her. Everytime I hit a road block part of me took it as a personal rejection (even though I knew that wasn't logical!)

Well, I finally did find her and come to find out she not only wanted to be found but had been looking for me too! We also discovered that BOTH of us had contacted the State of Tennessee hoping to be matched in a registry but we weren't! There are too many reasons to go into here, but the trail was cold for both of us and it finally took a private investigator to find her.

Another thing to consider is that many birthmothers - mine included - feel that they don't have the "right" to search. They have been told - or tell themselves - that they relinquished all their rights and that they may upset their child's life by finding him or her.

If you are commited to locating your birthfamily, please don't give up because of any imagined rejections. You may possibly be rejected and that is something you have to be prepared for going in. But you NEVER KNOW until you get there. Very often, things aren't as they seem. Good luck, Sonata