[Sniffles]

I would love to hear you thoughts on the networking that adoptive parents do. For example, posting on the internet, posting ads in college papers/regular newspapers, handing out cards, and telling everyone they know. How would you feel if you found out years later that your a-parents used this practice in your adoption?



I personally do not like some parts of the practice of networking. I can understand telling all of your friends, posting on the internet, and posting in a regular newspaper. However, to post in a college paper seems to me that they are saying "since you are in college you are not good enough to parent a child". I also find the practice of handing out card rude and tacky especially if you do not know the person.

[hrisme]

I've never seen a post in a college newspaper, I highly doubt my college would accept ads of that sort. I'm personally not crazy about postings in the newspaper--it bothers me to see adoption ads next to the "pets for sale" ads. I think the internet is a great resource, especially posting to sights such as this one where individuals are going specifically to get information on prospective families. What I do NOT like is the new practice of using face book, my space, and You-Tube as a way to reach potential birth parents. That just doesn't sit well with me--perhaps for the same reason college newspapers bother you?



My family members who are attempting to adopt do have cards, but they don't go around handing them out to random people. They do give them to family members, in case we learn of a possible situation. I don't think it is done in an offensive manner, it's not like they are handing them out to every pregnant woman they come across. My mom has a card posted in her office at work & several people have asked her about it--I think it just puts the concept into their mind, and maybe if something comes up they'll remember "Oh yeah, so and so was interested in adopting".

[Sniffles]

Originally Posted by hrisme

My family members who are attempting to adopt do have cards, but they don't go around handing them out to random people. They do give them to family members, in case we learn of a possible situation. I don't think it is done in an offensive manner, it's not like they are handing them out to every pregnant woman they come across. My mom has a card posted in her office at work & several people have asked her about it--I think it just puts the concept into their mind, and maybe if something comes up they'll remember "Oh yeah, so and so was interested in adopting".

I feel handing cards out to friends and family is the same as telling them. I was talking more along the lines of handing them out to strangers when I meant it was rude and tacky. I have heard of some colleges that do have ads in their paper, the regular newspapers really do not bother me because, 1) I have always seen them in there and 2) it does not specifically target one group of people.

[belleinblue1978]

Acky that is all I have to say. I would be bothered if mom and dad would have found me that way.

[JPDakota]

This is one of those questions that I have a tough time with trying to separate the adoptee and the adoptive parent. I guess as an adoptee I don't care where they advertise. As an adoptive parent I can say that we never did any of the things listed above. We just weren't comfortable with it. We worked with agencies, and I'm pretty sure most agencies advertise, so I guess that isn't really a distinction either. Handing cards to random pregnant strangers? That's pretty tacky.

[lonni]

All of it is predatory in my adoptee and adoptive parent opinion.blech

[txrnr]

I have to say I'm not nuts about any of it. To think your parents found you off of MySpace, or a classified? WOW. I don't see any difference between the newspaper or the college paper. While most college students are still teens early 20's, that's not the only demographic there. I was in my 30's when I went for my masters, there are a ton of staff and alumni who also get the paper, as well as community members around the college. My guess is the paper reaches more traditional adults than college kids.

Still... a classified??