[Lovemends2]

As you know I and b-mom have a doomed relationship. As I felt her hatred towards me there is one thing I wonder all through since the beginning.

She kept all the childhood photos I gave her when our reunion was good for a short time at that time.

If she hates me so much why didn't she return my photos back to me or destroy my photos?

[BrandyHagz]

Love,

It sounds like you have a lot of questions....mostly ones only she is able to answer...

Some of which you may never have an answer to.

My suggestion would be to start a letter to her. Take a week or so to compile your feelings/questions...ask here the things you want to know....then close the letter telling her that you have asked every question you could think of...and that you are going to leave contact up to her.

At best, you've had the chance to ask her...she may not answer, but you can ask.

I dont know what happened to cause her to "hate" you, but I think if you write her the letter, she will, at some point at least, respond with some answers....it may take years...but she will.

I still really think you need some type of therapy...If your income is such that you cant afford it, then try to find out if you qualify for medicaid...because of your dissbility you may find that you do. You have so many unanswered questions....no one is going to be able to answer them for you but your b-mom...so you really need to find a way to live with not knowing...and I think a good support network could help you with that...

I pray for you Love...I know what it's like to no know...but with some help, I was able to get past it.

I hope you can get past it too.

[SusanSouza]

Dear Lovemends,

What makes you say she hates you? Has she said this to you? Do you think your reunion was just too painful for her? Who found who?

I find it very hard to comprehend that she would have any hatred towards you. After all, you are her daughter and that would explain why she hasn't been able to get rid of your baby pictures.

Tell us more about what went on during the time you shared with her.

Hugs, Susan
Author of The Same Smile
www.thesamesmile.com

[vicrose]

Dear Lovemends, I have followed your story...and nobody can know why people do what they do sometimes...only the people that do them!!! I will be the first one that says reunions with our birthmother's can sometimes leave us feeling like we've been on a roller coaster ride and we want to get off!! Maybe your birthmother kept the pictures for whatever reason.....does your a-mom have the neatives or doubles...maybe you could make another set. I know that this birthmother has really been very mean to you....but, you have to wash that woman right out of your life...she is no good for your emotional well-being...and then one day if she wants to make ammends for everything that she has put you through...then great, and if not that's o.k. also...because you are a strong woman...and you can live very nicely without her and her torment. I would not write her any more letters....I would focus on what's good in your life...I would focus more attention on your goals for the future...you are strong and you can get past this!!!! Hugs, Brenda