[snuffie]

I have an old picture of the man I think may be my bdad. My son looks exactly like him. I have corresponded with this man and in one of his letters he said he did not think he is my bdad and also that he is elderly, has been married a long time the jist of it being that he does not want his life disrupted. I do not know whether to send this picture along with my son's photo to him or not.
I do not want to hurt him in any way.
I had all but decided to give up my search but find that that only works for a while and then I begin thinking about it again.

[rose7777]

I have been where you are in a way. There was a uncle that every one thought was my father no matter were we were people would say to me your dad this your dad that. I was told how we looked so much alike and how we even had the same smile and did everything alike.

This man was married to my amom's sister! They had no children and I grew up very close to them. My aunt I always thought was the person that loved me and kept me close to them BUT when she died he stayed close to me. At one point he had me sit down and said to me "This I bought for your aunt many years ago with love and I want you to have it!" This was her engagement ring and he said I want it kept in the FAMILY. My amom was still living so why did he give it to me? No, I could never ask him if he was my dad. I now think I could of asked it in this way " Do you know who my birth father is or was"?

I am fine with it now for he passed away a few years ago and if I was to do it I would of found the words back then.

Maybe you could just tell him the truth that you and your son think that they look so much like each other and send him a picture of your son. Ask him for his thoughts on this. The truth is always best.

Rose

[dpen]

Snuffie, Your situation almost mirrors my own. For a long time I was told by my birth mom that one man was my bfather, until her sister meet me and thought I looked likedthe man that was her husband at that time. My son also very similar in appearance. They had old pictures and there was a resemblance. I did contact this man, who was very nice and very obliging. He agreed to do DNA testing. We were in contact via e-mail and e-mailed pictures back and forth. I was convinced he was it! The DNA was negative. So he was not my birth father after all, even though there was a resemblence. He did not think that he waas my birth father but agreed to do dna, he totallt understood where I was coming from. I was very disappointed to find that he wasn't my birthfather.

Maybe this man that you think might be your birth father would agree to some testing?