[Lovemends2]

Vicrose

I wanted to tell you we have two in common.....our birth mothers rejected us.....and secondly.....I lost my first baby few years ago.....burying my baby in her grave was the most hardest thing I had to do......I have two other children now.

Lovemends2

[vicrose]

Dear Lovemends, Yes...I can honestly say that 5 years ago when we experienced the death of our baby..it just seemed like we wanted to die with her...how could this happen to us? But now, we are in a position to help others that are in the same situation that we were...my husband and I looking back probably should of gone to counseling....but we are private people and really didn't want to talk to anyone about this back then.....we consoled each other!!! We think about Victoria everyday and talk to her....and she help us get thorugh everyday!! Love, Brenda....

[Lovemends2]

Since the death of my infant daughter, She did came to me the night just before her funeral but I was scared off by her "ghostly" visit to me. She left me and I regretted it. Three years later until now...I was tending to my two other children in their bedroom....I felt my decreased daughter's lovely spirit around me....she accompanied me as I walked into my bedroom and I said to her, "I love you, Angela and thank you for coming to visit me." I am sure she knew what I said to her. She departed gently with her love. After that I felt so uplifted and so blessed to have such a wonderful daughter like her!

Sincerely with love, Lovemends2

[vicrose]

Dear Lovemends...Our children are with us always...so near and dear to our heart. Whenever your having a bad day..they will lift your spirits up...and when your having a great day..they are rejoicing with us!!! My husband and I decided when our baby died that we should get pregnant right away again, and I'm soooo glad that we did..because one year later..we had another little girl..and we believe that Victoria helped bring her to us to help ease our pain....Love, Brenda

[Lovemends2]

Yes, I believe our loved ones who has passed away is watching over us. Before I had my two younger children.....I had a vision of my daughter Angela talking to another young woman standing beside her. She was telling the another young woman about me and my husband. Soon, I was pregnant with my second daughter. None of my family or my friends who send me cards relating the death of my first daughter could really comfort me. My 2nd daughter's birth was a GREAT COMFORT and eased my grief. So I called her my "rainbow baby" after a storm. Then I envisioned Angela talking to a young man beside her about us again! Soon a year later, a son was born to us! I love my little boy! That is really interesting how Angela has been watching over me.

With Love, Lovemends2

[vicrose]

Dear Lovemends....I once told someone I knew that whenever I would go down to the basement to do laundry..that I felt someone behind me all the time, they told me that I was imagining things...but sure enough I was right..because the day that my baby died..my mother in law went back to my home and brought all the baby's things down to the basement so that I wouldn't have to see them and cry when I walked in the door the next day that I came home from the hospital...and I would go down there everyday for a year until my next daughter was born and cry....and then we brought everything back upstairs....people don't know how to deal with another person's loss..unless they've had a loss like that themselves...we learned the hard way at our baby's funeral...when people would walk up to us and say that our baby dying was the Grace of God...and that we should be grateful...when what they should of just said was "I'm So Sorry", and leave it at that....but some people just don't know!!! Anyway....our daughter Victoria still follows me around in our new home...but only now I don't tell anyone..because you don't want people thinking your crazy or anything...right?! Love, Brenda

[shirleyville]

Brenda,
You're not crazy....because if you are, I am!
My birthgrandma (deceased since 1992 -- 10 years before I ever even hired my CI) has been "following me around" since I discovered who my birthfamily was. I went to visit my ancestors graves, and I felt her come over me instantly....she's never left me, and was instrumental in me contacting my Aunt Judy! I feel her around me all the time, and it's a wonderful thing! I find a great deal of comfort in it, as a matter of fact.
It's sort of funny that my cousin (who has withheld so many things from me) chose NOT to withhold pictures of our Granny....she ended up giving me a bunch of them recently, and I found it amusing that she said that Granny would have been so happy to know where and who I was! That she would have been relieved to know that I was close all these years, and that Shannon and I went to school together. She said that if she would have known where to find me, she would have made sure to come to me, because she was never at peace with "one of hers" gone.
I didn't want to tell her that I knew that already --- because she is with me now! I will keep that just between me and Granny! Also, if you remember reading, last Easter, when I visited her grave, I found the little blonde haired, blue eyed, angel statue buried in the ground.....I would never have seen it, had a shepherd's crook, holding a hanging basket, not been hit by the mowing crew, and bent up. When I tried to straighten the crook, the little statue was there, buried under the dirt. It looks amazingly old....as if it had been buried there for years, just waiting for me to find it. It was Easter, and I was feeling SO SAD, because I knew my birthfamily was just down the road, sharing the day together.....and when I pulled the little statue out of the ground, I found her arms wrapped around a little bunny! I felt like it was a gift for me.
So no, I don't think you are crazy! Just in tune!
Hugs,
Sally

[Lovemends2]

Dear Vicrose

That is true we worry about others if they think we are crazy. But I do know and believe it is true for myself no matter how others think. The reason we worry how others think is because they do not understand or have the same experience themselves like we went through.

Most of the time, I do not share such experiences like that with everyone.....But with you, Vicrose who has the same empathy and same experience....Thats a different story.

I had another friend..her baby passed away too.....I shared some of my thoughts to her but she never gave me feedback. That is why I began to withdraw myself from sharing.

I keep all of Angela's baby books and stuff in a special chest. Whenever I open her chest and go through it....I cry.....reminded me how much I missed her and how lovely she looked. Placing a lovely white headstone on her grave with her name and photo of herself in white dress made her look like a real angel.....lessens my loss and made me feel as if she is alive....and she really is. I always felt she watches me when I kneel beside her lovely white headstone.

Love, Lovemends2

[vicrose]

Sally and Lovemends...Angels are surely amongst us!!!! And thank God for that...because they watch over us all the time. And it is true..maybe I too keep my feelings to myself at time and I would never tell anyone who hasn't gone through what I've been through about my feelings about Victoria being around me all the time....and you know what..when my amom passed away a couple of years ago..I talked to Victoria and told her that Grandma was coming her way..and I know that my Mom is taking care of her now...and probably telling her stories and rocking her to sleep at night....and one day..we'll all be in heaven with our loved ones, but until then..they visit us here....on a daily basis. My husband doesn't talk about it too much, but I know she watches over him as well....because he loved her so much. So, yes Sally...I like you don't think I'm crazy for believing what I believe...but I'm just cautious with who I speak with about my experiences...because some people don't empathize...if they haven't been there. And I am soooo happy that your Grandma watches over you...and I do believe that the angel in the dirt was a SIGN....you are loved...and I think that was Grandma's way of telling you that she is here for you...even if you birthmom can't!! We are all so blessed to have our loved ones watching over us!!! Love, Brenda....