[Sandcrab]

Stigma!!! NEVER...... You are an individual. Your OWN unique self regardless.... Let someone challenge THAT!!!!

Be yourself and let OTHERS love YOU for what you are; not WHO you are....

[carolynppk]

I never felt my being adopted was a stigma. I felt like I was lucky, special and chosen. This was never held over my head, as I have heard many other adoptees speak of~the aparents saying I did you a favor by adopting you, now you owe me! I don't recall my parents ever really bringing up we were adopted to others, it wasn't a secret we spoke openly about it and if it was brought up, "these are our two adopted children" type of thing, I was because it fit the situation and they were proud of how we came together.

I would taunt other children when I was little, saying how special I was to have been chosen, their parents were just "stuck" with them!!! LOL!!! I think when you are not involved in something you are naturally curious. I know I have been asked a lot of dumb questions about being adopted. I am sure that I have asked just as many dumb questions to both my husband and friends about coming from a divorced family. I welcome the questions and even the comments so I can clear up peoples perspective. Better they say something and I can help open their eyes, then them say nothing and keep those preconceived notions. Sure, I am not going to change everyones minds, but sometimes it gives me a laugh for the day and makes me glad that I am who I am.

I remember one old man who used to always go where my highschool sweetheart worked. I was up there one day and we got into a conversation and it came up that I was adopted. He really cared for me and asked me when he found out if "them people was good to me?!!" And "Them people don't beat you, do they?!!!" LOL!!! To this day, I still laugh and get a smile when I think of that conversation. I had to convince him I was fine and "them people" were my parents!!!! LOL!!!!

I find it is what I put into it, I am not concerned with how others view me or my adoption. I have spent way to many years and way too much energy in the past worrying about that. You can only be responsible for your own views. There will always be those who you can never reach or change their minds. If adoption is a stigma to them, then that is their problem.

Carolyn

[erschopft]

98% of the time it isn't an issue. ...but some people are just weird (in a bad way - i'm weird in a good way...). I have had a few people say that they were sorry... some say they were sorry for asking... like my cat just died or something. I don't take their ignorance personally. I try to inform them so they dont make a habit of putting their feet in their mouths in the most polite and non-condencending tone.