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I am a 38 year old female and after a long and hard search I have just recently in the last 2 months been reunited with my birthmom, 2 sisters and 1 brother. When I was 3 years old, we were all taken from our birthmom by the state. After 5 years the other three were returned to our birthmom but I had already been adopted. There are many different issues with this reunion. First, I have a different father than the other three and did not know I had half-sibilings until 4 years ago. They have always known about me and talk about me for the last 35 years. My sibilings do not consider me their half-sister but their sister. They do not have a close relationship with our birthmom. One sister and my brother live in the same area as our birthmom. When we first met and still today I feel a close connection with one sister and my brother. The other sister lives in a different state and although we have met there is not really a connection with her. There is no connection with my birthmom either.

Even though I know she will have her feelings hurt, is it ok to have a relationship with my sibilings even though I don't feel like there will be a close relationship with my birthmom?

I have also found out that my birthfather passes away 8 years ago. My birthmom had an affair with him 38 years ago but his wife has known about me since my birthmom got pregnant. In fact she offered to raise me as her own if my birthmom did not want me. I have 7 other half-sibilings out there somewhere. She wants to get in touch with each of them and see what they want to do. What is your advice about contacting them?

My birthmom, one sister and brother are going to attend a training conference in October for the DHR Office of Adoptions and we are hoping this will help us in our relationships for the future.

Any advise that you have would be appreciated.