[mdaisyq]

I have been there, too. Two weeks before we were to travel to Russia, we found out that a Russian family came into our son-to-be's orphanage and adopted him. We, too, had his room painted, crib ready, baby shower gifts carefully put in his room.

I couldn't bear to go into his room for months and I, too, felt as if I was drifting along in a gray fog.

My personal feeling is that traveling on October 7th to Kazakhstan is too soon for you. You need more time to deal with your very real grief. It would not be fair to you or this little boy for you to adopt him right now, no matter how much your agency may press you about regions closing.

The sadness for what could have been will never go away, but over time it will diminish, though you will always think of them.

I think it is great that you have reached out to a counselor who is able to help you with this. How is your husband holding up?