Hi Lisa,
We spent a couple of months weighing the pros and cons and potential risks of all possibilities -- international, domestic, fostering, sperm donation (I'm fertile, but my husband had a vasectomy 14 years ago) -- and in the end we chose international, specifically Guatemala.
Why? For several reasons:
• Guatemala has fewer restrictions than other countries (e.g., parents can be older, and can already have children)
• We can choose our child instead of waiting for a birthmother to choose us
• We can choose the gender (we want a girl)
• We did NOT want an open adoption; there is pretty much no such thing as an "open" adoption with international
• Children come home at an early age, sometimes as young as 6 months (although I think 8-10 months is more average). They are usually referred at just a few days old.
• The babies are so beautiful. Of course, all babies are beautiful, but I personally have a deep affinity for all things "south of the border"
• Travel time is minimal -- just a few days (compared to 2-3 weeks in China or Russia)
HOWEVER...there's a law being proposed right now in Guatemala that, if it passes, will most likely put an end to Guatemalan adoptions. (If you visit the Guatemala forum on this website, you'll see info about it on the "Ortega Law" sticky.) We are not at a "safe" point yet in our adoption process, so if it passes, we may have to back out and pursue another avenue. I pray that it won't pass, but I have to at least have a "Plan B" in place in case it does.
So, I almost feel like my husband and I are at square one again. We have two choices for "Plan B": switch to China (fortunately, our agency deals with both countries), or reconsider domestic adoption. I don't dislike China, and I think Chinese babies are absolutely precious -- but I don't have the deep love for China that I do for South and Central America. It's just a personal thing -- I'm not criticizing anyone, so please don't misunderstand.
But I think I would prefer China over a domestic adoption. Maybe I've just been scared off by horror stories about birthmoms or dads coming back or changing their minds, and then losing all that emotional investment, not to mention our money.
Like the others have said, you really need to weigh the risks and think about what you are and aren't willing to live with. Even though I had already made up my mind, I'm almost in the same position you are -- trying to figure out AGAIN if we want domestic or international!
Good luck. Do lots of research and follow your heart.