Rebecca,
Sorry, the forums here aren’t usually real busy on the weekends – and since your original post was made after 5, most of the members had already signed off for the weekend.
Here, let me see if I can answer some of your questions, then I suggest (since each program is much different from the other) that you post these questions on each countries forum, so you can get country specific information.
1) WHERE DO I START??
First, you choose which program you are most interested in. Each country has its own “pros and cons”.
The Guatemalan program, while kind of in limbo (semi-unstable) right now, due to some proposed law changes, has a fairly quick program. The “typical” timeline is six to nine months, once you’re paper ready and have received a referral. The benefit to Guatemala is that if you want an infant, that is totally doable. When dealing with Guatemala, however, it is VERY important that you do intensive and exhausting research on the agencies and the attorneys they use.
China’s program is defined and stable. If you are looking for stability and a defined timeline (read: know with some degree of certainty when you will travel and where you are in the process) then China is a good candidate.
I know almost nothing about the Korean program – except in this program, like with the Guatemalan program, the child can be escorted home (No travel required). I believe the big difference between Korea and the other programs is that the child comes to the US before the adoption has been finalized, and it is finalized stateside.
The above programs are listed by cost – Guatemala being the most expensive program at around $30K and Korea I believe in the neighborhood of $18K.
2) HOW DO I FIND OUT COUNTRY RESTRICTIONS, ETC. (My husband has been divorced and I know some countries shy away from divorcees)
I know for Guatemala, past marriages and divorces are not an issue.
China, I believe, reviews these on a case by case basis. You can ask the agency you ultimately select to submit a “pre approval” request to make sure you meet all the criteria for the program. (This is a great question to post on the China forum).
Korea allows up to one divorce per parent I believe – again, I highly recommend you post to this and the other two country forums and ask these specific questions – because people there can share their specific first hand experiences.
3) AM I GOING TO HAVE PROBLEMS SINCE I ALREADY HAVE 3 CHILDREN?
For Guatemala – No
For China – As long as you can meet the income requirements for he size of your family – No
For Korea – I don’t think so – I did read one agency site that said that up to four children were fine, but that might be an agency requirement rather than a country requirement. All of these things are things to consider when looking at different agencies – each agency can have their own requirements that are different from the country requirements.
4) OUR YOUNGEST JUST TURNED 1, SO WE WOULD LIKE TO WAIT UNTIL HE IS ATLEAST 3 BEFORE FINALIZING THE ADOPTION, WHEN SHOULD I START THE PROCESS?
Each program varies – not only from agency to agency – but from situation to situation. So I suggest you post this question on the country specific forums.
Guatemala -
http://forums.adoption.com/forumdisplay.php?f=19
China -
http://forums.adoption.com/forumdisplay.php?f=17
Korea -
http://forums.adoption.com/forumdisplay.php?f=215
Good luck!