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mackgreen,
Regarding the issues you are struggling with, maybe a good adoption counselor could help you sort these out. Please don't think you are going to screw this up. As long as you love her like you do your other two sons, it will all work out. Honesty is good, but sometimes timing is everything. Your niece's natural curiosity will unfold over time and those will be good times for discussions about her adoption/birthmother, etc. Trust yourself to say the most helpful thing at the right time.
I really don't think you are going to screw this up as long as you love your niece and protect her like you do your other children.
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