[Jzubric]

We adopted our son a year ago in an open adoption. We have developed a relationship with the birthmother through letters and phone calls on a fairly regular basis (every month or so). We like her a lot and have enjoyed having her in our lives. While we were waiting for our son to be born we spent a good bit of time with our Birthmother and her 16 year old daughter. She also has 2 other children and is raising a nephew.

We talked on the phone a few days ago and are planning on visiting her with our son in the next couple of months and have invited her to Louisville to visit us as well. Today she called and told us that she isn't doing well. She has been in the hospital and just found out that she has cervical cancer and is going back to the Dr. next week to see if it has spread. Of course we were devistated both for her and her family but also for our son. We hope that the prognosis is good and that he will be able to have a relationship with his birthmother as he grows up. She then said that the reason she was calling was that she was having financial difficulty because she has to travel to another town to visit the Dr. She said that she has asked her family to help out but no one is able to. She asked if she could borrow some money ($150 or so) and promised to pay it back as soon as she could.

Most of me wants to send the money immediately. Even though finances are tight, if any of my close friends asked the same of me I would give it to them without blinking an eye. In reality if any of my not so close friends told me the same story and asked for money I would give it to them as well. But because of my nature I have also been taken advantage of by being too trusting and perhaps a little too trusting.

I recognize that this relationship is different. As much as we want to act like we are all just good friends the basis of this relationship is complex. I worry that this alters the relationship and sets us up for a very different future and more requests and more complexity. Suggestions? Advice?