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Sarah,
I have a four year old who is on the other side of the spectrum - she is the kept child. She has met her 17 year old sister who I lost to adoption at 17. Having contact with my eldest daughter from infancy until this day has been a good thing for my 17 year old. There are no questions.
If it is your daughter and your adoption, then surely you hold the cards on the level of openness you wish for. If your heart is telling you to open the adoption further, then go for it. There is often no harm in opening up adoptions from closed or semi-open to fully open. It answers the child's questions and can assist with the mothers grief. Is your agency open to working with you to open the adoption up further? If not, perhaps seek the support of a third party (mediator) who can support you in developing a deeper, more open relationship with the mother. Your daughter will benefit enormously from that openness.
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