[maggie_va]

What is your motivation for wanting to adopt 2 at once ~ especially twins or artificial twins? Have you ever spent anytime actually caring for 2 infants or 2 very young children? I recommend trying it before committing. It is doable of course but challenging and as a single parent it will be double the challenge.

Also, I know these boards are filled with "we bonded instantly" stories and while that may happen, you shouldn't count on it and plan to spend lots of time working on bonding. My DD came home at 3 months and it was not an instant bond. It was something that we worked at. I could not imagine as a single parent having the capacity to provide the time and attention to 2 infants or an infant and a toddler, that they would need for bonding and attaching. Don't say say that you will get help from family and friends bc this will be counterproductive to the bonding and attachment process. The babies need to know you are the one and only source of their basic needs from food down to cuddles. You wouldn't want others, even family, to come in and start meeting their basic needs.

I don't think what you are considering amounts to "abuse" but I do think it is misguided.

Maggie