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Wow. I think this is one of those, walk a mile in my shoes kind of issues.
Like I said, before going through it myself, I would have said the same thing. But...living it and knowing what goes on really opens your eyes.
People make bad choices and bad judgment calls every day. Some of them are deemed crimes by the State, some are just stupid. Is someone who caused a fatal accident while talking on the cell phone and wasn't charged with a crime any "better" of a person than someone who was arrested for a one time, non-violent offense? It's really hard to make a call like that. Not eveything in this world is black and white.
Murder, yes. Rape, yes. Any violent felony, yes. Any crime against a child, yes. A pattern of crimes, yes. I would agree that those people should not be permitted to adopt or foster. But a one time mistake that has been atoned for and punished? Something that does not speak to the core of a person but to a moment of bad judgment? No I do not believe that person should be punished for all time. By that logic, all "felons" as you call them should be sterilized and prevented from reproducing as well. Heck, why not take the children of convicted "felons" away as well?
You ask how I would feel to have my daughter placed in foster care with a "felon." I think I explained that pretty clearly in the preceeding paragraph. If they person is a good person, on the straight road, and passed all of the tests you have to pass to care for another child, then yes, I would feel comfortable having my daughter in his/her care. Goodness knows I have made enough mistakes in my life, as have we all, but I am still a darn good parent to my own and any other children I am blessed to care for.
My DH is a good man, a good Christian. He has been punished by the State for a mistake he made and paid for. He regrets it. He wishes he could go back and do it differently b/c that one action is not who he is. DH has made it right with the State, with our spiritual leaders, with his Savior, and with his wife. When, in your opinion, should his punishment cease? In 30 years? When he dies? Eternally? That's a rhetorical question, because I really don't care for your opinion on the matter!
I realize that we are going to see very differently on this point and can agree to disagree - you have a right to your opinion formed based on the life you have led and the experiences you have had so far. I believe your convictions are sincere. But...I did not start this thread asking for the judgment you have so readily provided. I can get enough of that elsewhere.
Thanks for everyone for the advice.
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