I think a more real concern and where POSSIBLY the idea that its "abusive" is the REALITY that adopting older children (any child older than 6 months) requires special skills to ensure attachment. Adopting one child with attachment issues as a single parent can be completely overwhelming (take a gander at the attachment boards) but TWO? Almost Impossible.
You need to understand and be aware of the fact that the greatest risk of adoption disruptions are
#1) First time parents adopting "older" children (older than 6 months)
#2) Parents adopting more than one child at the same time
#3) Single parents doing either of the above.
Trust me, if you have ever been involved in /observed even one disruption you do ANYTHING in your power to prevent it from happening again. You are choosing something that does put you into a high risk category. Yes there are probably alot better ways to express that to you than to say you are "abusive" but the reality of parenting two children as a single parent is HARD, the reality of parenting two special needs (attachment) children as a single parent, while having to work, is probably very close to impossible.
Please, educate yourself on what you might face. Be prepared for the WORST and hope for the best. For the sake of your future children, you MUST HAVE thought these things out.
How will you deal with it if one or both of your children suffer from attachment disorders or issues?
Can you stay home for 6 months as a minimum if your child requires that?
How will you arrange for child care if one of your children is emotionally healthier than the other?
Check out these links -- READ. The issues are very, very real!
Older Child Adoption
http://forums.adoption.com/forumdisplay.php?f=475
Facilitating Attachment
http://forums.adoption.com/forumdisplay.php?f=818
Attachment Disorders
http://forums.adoption.com/forumdisplay.php?f=467
Attachment Disorder Parenting
http://forums.adoption.com/forumdisplay.php?f=815
Special Needs and Attachment Forum (this has a complete listing of issues you might face)
http://forums.adoption.com/forumdisplay.php?f=221
Jen